The Late-comer

There was a point where I had never realized that people like me deserve a dream. The genes of  procrastination is in me and I am never serious about executing a change.

I was not thinking of doing something when I had all the resources with me, not that I did not want to, but I never know that I had the chance to until it was too late for me to realize.

The calendar on the wall is fulled with remarks, time and resources are now the enemies. While I am blaming on the timing, shall I convinced myself that what happened to me is always the best for the moment? Shall I then wait and go with the flow? Must a late-comer accept the punishment when he has never meant to be? If thing happens when it has to be, does it mean that it is going to happen regardless of whatever incident in the middle of it?

If this is the case, why can't you just grant us with whatever we are going to get in the end? Of course you can, but I will then never appreciate what happiness is when I have never taste the contrary. While, if 'happiness' is the only thing in my life, I guess I will be bored to death. Yes, I am always self-contradictory, isn't life so too?

Isn't it funny that after you have gone round and round and reached some point, then only you realized that you can actually go from here to the point straightly if you have known and planned something earlier on, which you should have to. Yeah, only if you know it earlier which you wish you did. Forgiven or not, there is now no way back, moving forward is the only choice that you are left with. And, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

I'm moving, but left, or right now?

Whatever it is, I shall always take mom's advice of saving for the rainy day, and then only I have the discretion.

“我没有征服神山，而是神山应允了我一次的仰望……”

很多人成功登上一座山后都会说自己征服了某某山等的，不是不对，只是我个人认为或许以上那句比较贴切些。

这是年头上了神山后，队友晋豪哥哥写的一句话，由于太符合心里的感受了，所以一直收藏着。三个月前的旧地重游，让我感触更深，再次确定自己的渺小。

“人再好，也没有完美的，所以要包容每个出现在我生命里的人，就像大家谅解我一样；
山再高，也高不过草儿，所以永远不要嫉妒任何人，你有的就是对你最好的。”

这是这句话和这些事件带给我的启示，时不时看一看，提醒自己做人要谦卑。

Just nonsense

There was once, someone was quering and doubting about the purpose of writing blog. She is in a view that blogging is kind of showing off behaviour, close to psycho because a blogger can't wait to 'display' his/her life to the whole world, using her words, the blogger is begging for love from the reader though the wrting. This could be true, to a certain extent, everyone has a personal reason of blogging which offences no one, but I was pretty upset of receiving it directly from her mouth. However, ''Don't know so don't love'' applies. so no blame on her part.

This is true,a peach lover will never understand someone with serious-peach-phobia*; a non-diary keeper will not understand the reason of us keeping diary; and someone who do not love adventurous activities would never understand why are there so many rock-climbers, hikers, sky-divers etc.. A common question would usually be : ''Why do I spend to suffer myself?'' While for some, it could be all about the adrenaline. Likewise, and no offense, I can never understand people who keep posting on facebook about their activities, when I say activities I mean every single part of the activity. Is this kind of showing off to the world that you are doing something or are you simply making fun of the device? It could be either one depends on how you interprete it. But please blame no one when someone rob your house because a minute ago you just told the world that your house is not occupied in a particular date and time.

Sharing is good, and for your information, I do post, a lot too, but not without filtered, and I don't want to cause wall polution with all those unhealthy information. Of course, it depends on you to decide what the unhealthy is. I blog too, I do simply for the sake of it, this is my own way of expressing myself and sharing, must I make a report to you? No one can force you to do something if you really don't want to, so don't read any of the blog out here when you don't know how to appreciate it or you think you would get irritated by it. Applying your words here, ''don't expect me to follow every single facebook post of you '', you are not expected to go with my flow either. It's true that a blogger expects reader, unfortunately the non-sincere one is not to be included.

What I learn is that don't judge when you don't know, especially with your you-think-you-are-smart-and-know-it-all kind of tone. If you want me to respect you, respect first. I don't know you like how you never know me. There is no right or wrong. We just don't get it.


P/s: Intelligence people ignore, and I guess I am never intelligent.



*youtube: funning peach phobia

旅行，需要理由？

有人说要一生不后悔至少得尝试说走就走的旅行。我，已经不晓得说走就走Ｎ次了。说我任性？我不否认。所以我的生活虽说不上毫无规划，但就是一踏糊涂，乱七八糟的，是代价吧！我就是那么没出息……对不起爸爸妈妈。
话说回头，旅行真的需要长期规划吗？对有些人来说，是！对有些长途的旅程来说，未必不是。

如果哪一天我再也不能说走就走，那一定是我还存不够旅费。
可请别忘了，能说走就走不代表我有多余的钱。
只是觉得穷有穷的旅行方式，别人能，为什么我不能？一旦我做了出发的决定，这旅程还有更艰难的时刻吗？

这样说好了，我就是只不能没有水的鱼、不能没有天空的鸟、不能没有氧气的生物，无须太多准备功夫，时机来了，要走就走，想走就走，就算哪天我的人身没走，我的心也未必还在。当然，时机是自己说了算的，嘻嘻！

别人是再穷不能穷教育，我家是再穷不能穷旅行。妈妈说，怎样都要去见识见识，看人家怎样吃饭，看人家怎样走路，看人家怎样说话……总有我要学习的。以前爸爸妈妈常常带我们这走那走，现在他们老人家这痛那痛的，站久点都不行，还怎么去走呢？没关系，我相信让我带你们出走的那天一定会到来的。谢谢你们！

win-win?

Can you make sure all are equal in size all the time?

I know for a fact that it is almost impossible to satisfy every person in life.

But, is there any guidance for me to try not to at least hurt anyone?

Or, those so-called guidance can only be derived from the experiences of me after-hurting someone?

Possibly, otherwise, what is 'life' for?

There's a sun, there's a sunflower

还有不到一天的时间我就暂时上天堂了。

痛苦和煎熬中有遗憾、悔不当初的感觉，同时却也带点成就感，加上那蠢蠢欲动的兴奋分子，和那迫不及待想要出走的心，天使与恶魔交集中。
告诉自己好好享受当下，再煎熬也不过还有那么十几个小时了，剩下的不要想太多，要有信仰，奇迹或许就会出现。（也只能这样盼望了。）

最不喜欢听人家劝自己说“不要灰心，你已经尽你最大的能力了”，或者外语版本的 "Be confident...as long as you have try your best, never get upset when you lose."
The problem is, I'm fed up not simply because of the fact of me losing out, but that of I never try my best, when I always need and have to.
*of course I'm still grateful towards your genuine concern.

When one says that one has tried one's best, does it imply that what s/he gets is the best that s/he can achieved of, which in other words mean that there is no more room for improvement? Well, my position is positive in this regard. And, I feel worst if this is the truth. Of course, one should never overestimate his or her personal capabilities, but equally, one should also never underestimate his/herself, you never know what you can do without trying to pass the threshold afterall.

Not to deny the facts that there are lots of people who always try their best, and everytime they did their best, they are moving on to another level of the best of the best. (This qualifies them for being role models of mine. ) Therefore, interpreting 'trying your best' would also mean that, try your best that you could at the time that you are in. Instead of focusing on 'the best of you', we now turn to the fact of 'the best of you in the circumstances' and this is applicable to all level of challenges. This, nevertheless, seems to bring no significant effect on the above stand. However, when one has really tried s/he best, what s/he can now do is to leave the rest to God.

p/s: God bless you.

包青天

被人冤枉你用他的东西，
被人冤枉你拿他的物品，
被人冤枉你陷害他，
被人冤枉你出卖他，
被人冤枉你劈腿，
冤枉种种……

如果说心痛难受，被冤枉更是痛上加痛。
如果以一到十来作标准，生产的难受和痛苦为十，那么被冤枉就是九点九*。
生产的痛你可能会记得一辈子，但是被冤枉的感受是你要忘也忘不了的，而且，它不会随着时间而淡化。
对于生产，男人你可能不懂（国外那个变性生产的‘男人’另当别论），女人也未必完全懂，但是被人冤枉过的男人和女人，你一定有所体会。

哑子漫尝黄蘖味，难将苦口对人言，你，了解吗？
你不需要了解。
只请你不要冤枉无辜的人，如果你也不希望人家冤枉你。

认不认罪，被判死刑的人，有可能是无辜的。
真正的凶手同样可以逍遥法外。
在必要时候“自尊”我可以放下，但是“志气”，不好意思，就算真相没有大白的一天我也不会将就的认了。
不求水落石出，只觉得既来之，则安之，可以这样说吧。

沉默不完全代表默认，它可以是金，无声也可以胜有声。
说是这样说，但是，有谁不曾向现实低头？



*另外零点一是对伟大的母爱的一点敬意，顺便祝全天下的母亲“天天都是快乐的母亲节”！

自卑

除了自轻自贱，妄自菲薄，

自卑是什么？

自卑是不看别人，以为别人也看不到自己。

自卑和狂妄自大

可说是鸡生蛋，蛋生鸡之原理，

同样悲哀。

快活



在你有困难的时候，

不要因为那些不关心你、

只会以自己为中心的人而伤心难过；

要因为那些为你着急的人而感到欣慰和感恩，

在这个社会上，

真的没有多少人会把别人的事情当作自己的来处理。

如果你身边有那么的一位，

你必须惜福，更需要惭愧。

以前老师教我们说“必须”和“必需”的分别在于：

前者让你有选择的余地；而后者是义务。

我一直把它放在心上。



我就是这样，

对于有些芝麻绿豆的事情超级执著，

而应该做好的本分却得过且过，

混混沌沌的一天过一天，

蹉跎岁月，更是浪费资源。

虽然说把小事做好，

大事自然就会更完好，

但是人生短短几十载，

有些事情真的不用太在意，

看得太重有时反而伤得更深，

释怀吧！

哭一天，笑一天

何不快乐每一天

你多久没有不顾形象的开怀大笑了？

''My Story - Yip"

Video credit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WllK52GodI4&feature=player_embedded

Love this video at first sight. The way it's presented. The message it brings with us.

It has uncovered the long-hidden feeling of mine once and again.

What if the person in need of blood transfusion to prolong his/her life is someone that you know or someone who is close to you?

This assumption is arguably good and not-good.

Good as in it encourages you to think in the shoes of others and contribute.

Not-good in the sense that it doesn't need to be someone you know for you to do something good.

So let's practise good deed

and

as mentioned

Let us united by blood.

Not divided by race.

*Spread the love*

错过？

有些事情就是那么极端，有些人没有对象也没人追，无从选择，那没话说；有些人呢太多人追，烦恼到不知该选哪位才是好。我有位朋友就是后者，她为这件事烦恼了一段时间了，始终不能做个了断。

‘甲’是她爱他比较多的人；  
‘乙’是他爱她比较多的人；   
‘丙’是她不爱，也没有讨厌，但却能够给她她要的幸福的人。      

她是位以长远关系为前提的女生，她爱甲，喜欢乙，却向往和丙未来的理想生活。

她不是贪心，她有做选择的权利。选谁都不是，她烦恼了。                              

我的个人看法是要她不要急着做选择。
她说，她没有急，不然也不会拖那么久，但她必需给他们个交待，应该说给她自己一个交代。
我再说：既然都不是你想要的，那就都不选咯。
她认为：你理想的那个未必是陪你一生的那个；陪你过一生的通常都不是你理想的那个。
（没错。）
我说：那你就三个选一个吧（其实，我想她内心已经有个答案，只是需要人给她一推、给她那么一点赞同和做决定的勇气）。
她说她清楚明白自己要什么，但是她觉得在遇到对的那个人之前，她需要经验，那她才会知道去寻找那个他适合她、她也适合他的“他”的方向。而如果她放弃了这次的‘机遇’她就会错过或失去了什么的。
（也没错！）

*理应：倘若她知道她要的是什么，她就不会让路边的野草给左右思绪了。
当然，我们究竟是凡人嘛，谁人没烦恼啊？

只能说，人啊难免就是怕错过这个错过那个，结果犹豫不决，蹉跎岁月，我也不例外。

不过，还是那句话，每件事情的发生都有它的意义，人生的每件事都是最好的安排，没有错不错过的；只有你选不选择的，没有人能够参与身边发生的每件事，除非你有孙悟空的分身术，那就另当别论。而我们真正失去的只是我们的记忆，因为你不能失去你从来没拥有过的东西，不是吗？不属于你的就不是你的。

换个方式说，一个人因为买不到机票，上不了指定的那班机。飞机随后坠落，全军覆没。
你可以说他‘错过’了那班机，当然同时他也‘错过’了夺走他生命的机会。
又或者说，他没有‘错过’任何东西，因为他注定没得上那班机，否则，他会‘失去’他的生命。
纠正下，他没有错过任何东西，因为他注定没得上那班机，他也没有‘失去’任何东西，因为他注定活久一点。

当然，没有叫你认命，只是，当你说你失去或错过什么机会时就代表当时的你还准备好；那所谓的机会根本不属于你，也就是说你没什么好失去或错过的，等你准备好的时候，就是你大展身手的时机了，对，就是时机！

至于我的那位友人，如果真的要说错过，那她错过的就是等到那位最适合她的‘丁’出现吧，因为她在他们三人中做了个抉择。
她说我态度很硬、要求太高，或许吧，所以我还是一个人。我说，当我让自己准备好的时候，那个出现的人就是适合我的人；她说机会是要争取的。

我没有反驳，不是因为我赞同也绝对没有认为她说的不对。还是老话一句：看你怎么看咯。

p/s:
能够做到时时准备好当然是最好了，因为没有人能够确定下一秒钟会遇到什么人、什么事嘛！
愿她永远幸福快乐，人生如烟花般璀璨！ 我嘛，继续钻牛角尖，呵呵。

（完）

一个人的时候

我喜欢独处，因为这时候的我思绪天马行空、可以和自己对话、怀念过去的一切、幻想未来的自己、做我想做的事情、做自己。

这个时候也是灵感来得最多最快的时候，让我可以update blog，或者写写日记。你没有看错，除了这里，我还有在笔记本上写日记的习惯，从前的我就很喜欢写日记，而且是手写的。可能有些人想说都什么年代了还手写。比起科技代手，我更钟情于手写。手写带来的成就感是无法形容的，我可以用我要的方式和速度一笔一画的写或者应该说画（鬼画符的画）。我特别喜欢中国字，因为每一笔、每一画都有它的意义。每每看回那笔迹时，中文字的带来的满足感往往都大于ABC的。更胜的是，当指尖触碰到那笔迹时，我能够回想当下写那篇文章的我是怀着怎么样的心情，有时候还可以摸到泪水造成的“凹凸不平”呢 （呵呵） 。你说，是不是很特别?

中国历史和中华文化很伟大，但是我最爱的还是我们的马来西亚。如果不以个人利益和政治为前提，或许今天的我们会更好。以前和外国网友谈起我的国家，他们大部分都不知道马来西亚的地理位置，有的更从来没听过马来西亚这个国家，但是我依然很proud的跟他们说了又说：“I am from Malaysia.” 因为我坚信有一天，全世界都会认识我们的国家，马来西亚（当然，不是以丑闻为主）。

今天，拿督李宗伟让马来西亚更接近世界，也让不同肤色的我们坐在体育馆、电视机前、或者mamak档一起为同一个目标欢呼。这时候大家不分你我，因为我们都是马来西亚人。

另一边厢，有人说黄明志Namewee煽动种族和宗教情绪，挑拨政治敏感话题，可能导致人民分裂，危害国家安全；我却认为他只是把实况用他的方式呈现出来，他没有要挑拨任何人，他只是让我们有宣泄压抑已久的情绪的空间和管道。有人说这有点极端，看你怎么想，还是这是外国人讲的‘this is just the last nail in the coffin’？

或许在敏感时期，我们能做的就是不要恶化情况，但是你认为一个成熟的人民会那么容易被他那一首歌影响吗？我承认，那首歌的确很娱人娱己，但这是两回事，不是吗？小时候，妈妈和老师不是说做错事要勇于承认，不要把责任推给别人，然后要反省、要改过自新吗？怎么大人们都不听话的?

几年过去了，这件事或许不再是大家饭后闲聊的话题，但是，问题根源一直存在，只是借用了其他管道和话题延伸下去。问题不会有不存在的那天，能做的只是不让它恶化，再用正确的方式慢慢改善。

我知道，你和我一样，我们都爱我们的国家，但是，马来西亚，你爱我们吗？

莲花

红花因绿叶而美丽，

明月因清风而深情，

偶尔不做主角也无妨。

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶

Home-foods

Went back home days ago and had a homemade

'Bak Kut Teh' *

by mum... 

It's more than enough to bring away my sorrow. 

                                  谢谢你 妈妈

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bak_kut_teh

Happy Birthday Chai Hong

Pretty sure that I must had done a lot of good things in my past life so that the good karma thingy is here for me no matter how negative I'm ( Or, most probably that my parents 'transfered' theirs to me, yes, MUST BE ! ).

I feel good when people treat me well, but at the same times I feel guilty and shameful, as I don't think that I deserve that much. Somehow I'm just too selfish to be good.

Keep reminding myself to appreciate what I have and never take all these for granted. Instead, I'm gonna put some efforts with everyone around me, it's never too late to improve I believe.

I'm a nobody, with limited capability and time, but I still hoping that what I'm doing benefits you one day. After all, I never doubt about us being here for each other, for a reason.

So, a big thank you to you for being here for me, yes, you, you, you and you. I love you.

By the way, wish myself Happy Birthday ! Hopefully this is not just an older me, but a more mature and well-rounded me =)

*PaPa, borrowed your birthday cake yea ;D

p/s: My biggest wishes is of course for PaPa & MaMa,
        wish you stay HEALTHY & HAPPY always!

       For you & I, DREAMS COME TRUE !

 

 

I need a change

When things happen in a constant negative manner, I know for a long time that something is wrong with me... I just don't have the gut to face it.

p/s: Doggie, is this how you usually look like, or, are you feeling down?



Insider or Outsider

Sometimes I just can't stop wondering if I need to be an outsider so to allow myself to present the true story of the insider at the expense of friendships... like Dan Humphrey in the Gossip Girl...... 

A little chapter of my life

There is so many things in life that we wish to accomplish and yet not everyone manage to do it all when we are capable of. Journey to the Mount Kinabalu, at least for me, an indication of another beginning of me doing something that I really want and love to. Sometimes, things go better when you least expected it.

I love Mother Nature more than I could think of, even though I grown up in a kampung (small village). I was once being told that I don't appreciate the nature because I'm with the nature. 'Mr. Know it all', that's who you think I am, but I'm who I think I am. I appreciate your thoughts and critics, but after all, who are you to judge me. I don't have to show you my love towards anything, while maybe people these days only see what they want to see, and only believe what they want to believe.

To put it another way round, someone may post whatever he/she likes on Facebook, but that's only part of his/her life. It's too bad that majority of the people would judge him according to those posts, as in it's a whole life of him/her. Come on people, everyone of us has the right and freedom to share and not to, why must I being who you want me to be, rather than who I am?! You can direct me to take picture of this and that which I have no interest to but for your favour, maybe mine as well because I might learn, but  please not with your judgemental words of "Oh God, you people have no sense at all..." sort of. Remember that if everyone has the same interest, same sense and same set of mind, then what's the point of you keep telling the world that you are you, and me is me?

...well...can't stop wondering why am I wasting so much time on those negative thoughts and actions when the world out there is just so worth of my life, the worst thing is I realized it and did nothing to change.

The truth is, I'm a very simple person. Any sight of the nature is breathtaking enough to overwhelm my senses. Yes, any sight of it, I'm just so easily being satisfied. Or I should say that, the Mother Nature is just so incredible, every part of it is perfect in its own sense and everything is again perfectly inter-related. Oh man, now I miss the time I was studying Biology in the Secondary School and Form 6...well, not just now, I always do. It benefits me, throughout my whole life I dare to say.

If you think that I'm having a sudden fancy towards the nature because of the trip to the Mount Kinabalu, then I'll prove you wrong. This trip is, after all a platform for me to express myself once and again. Love doesn't just grow or lapsed.

Hopefully, the day that I have to choose between the nature and the developed will never come (in fact it's happenning everyday around me). To a certain extent, I admit that I need them both. Worst comes to worst, I'll die with the nature. But then, who am I to make the decision? At the end of the day, it's all about natural selection.

Last but not least, I'm grateful towards EVERYONE that I have met during this trip, which is too many of them to name of. Without your presences and helping hands, I'm no way here. Thank you, from me whole-heartedly.