很多事情发生在自己身上或者是身边人的身上自己才能够真正有所体会和谅解。“爱情是盲目的”这事儿也一样。
活到这个岁数难免会有关心自己的人问起相关伴侣的事，有时不是想说敷衍了事，只是很多时候解释了他人也不会明白，甚至不想去了解。世俗凡人嘛，免不了会挑些自己想听的、想看的，所以不管你如何回答，他们心里早有自己的答案。。
别的不说，看到身边最亲近的人的经历真的会让我对恋爱尤其是婚姻这事儿有所恐惧。有人说，生产顺利的女人都是从鬼门关走一圈回来的幸运者。那么一个对于自己女人的生产过程无动于衷的男人值得爱吗？说难听点TMD孩子不是你的吗？而且那可是她不算很顺利的第一次呢！一个女人多勇敢都好在那一刻都希望自己的男人在那个时候给予自己最大的精神支持；而你那谈定得好像不管你的事似的态度看得我心寒。我将来的那个他如果也和你一样，那有与无有何分别？
一个知道你每天得在路上来回行驶超过八十公里，却坚持不给你准备辆基本性能健全的交通工具，并且把你的人生安全当作理所当然的男人还能要吗？纵使你坚持没要花他的钱，他也不允许你做他不想要你做的事情的男人真的还该留在身边吗？一个不让你完成你基本要求和愿望却一直在做自己喜欢的事情的男人你觉得他还值得你爱吗？一个连你的意见权利也剥夺的男人真的值得你不停的付出吗？有以上任何一项已足够让我却步，更何况你身边那位所谓爱你的男人拥有以上所有甚至更多更多，多到数不完。
或许这些都太主观，因为在他人眼中他完美，而你一点也不觉得他有哪里不好。你总是认为那是夫妻间该有的迁就与牺牲，只是你那无休止的单方面付出与退让看得我们这些身上和你留着同样血的人默默为你心痛和流泪。能说、不能说的我们都说了，能帮的我们也尽全力的帮，以前是，现在是，将来也会是，谁叫我们是一家人，爸爸妈妈的字典里从来没有“计较”这词儿，嫁出去的女儿不是泼出去的水，娘家也永远都还是女儿的家。不计你从家里一次又一次理所当然的索取；心寒的是他的不屑、不珍惜、不体谅、恶霸以及把脾气往你身上发的态度。新婚本该是最让新人幸福快乐的时刻，你们却吵到连自己的婚礼也不在乎，当时忙里忙外的我们都不知该怎么跟客人交待，给人看笑话事小，耽误大家的时间就真的太失礼了。大家都是成年人了，事情的缓急优先还无法抉择吗？还有上一次不小心看到你为他流泪却心甘情愿的承受，你觉得当时的我发觉后有把泪水给忍住了吗？那一幕在之后的日子里只要一想起，我心里都不好受。这一些你都不知道，或许你永远也不会发现；就算你知道了也不会把它当一回事，因为感性的，永远都只有我而已。
其实，他的可恶不是最可怕的，最可恨的是你一次又一次为他出卖自己的立场。或许你认为他才是和你一辈子的那个人，但是一个完全不愿意配合你和你家人而且刻意要你改变你整个生活模式的男人，你真的能和他一辈子？他一直是你铁定的选择，尽管他再大男人和做作，我当然还是希望你能快乐，更何况你是我最亲近的人，我比谁都希望你有个幸福美满的家庭生活和人生。
人的一生真的不能没有爱情吗，尽管爱情只是短暂的？爱情到底是一加一减的磨合，还是一定得有个人为对方牺牲？单方面心甘情愿的付出是迁就还是牺牲？
家家的经是否都那么难念？我不否定，但也不敢说一定。而爱情那事儿，同样的，我永远也不会懂。
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Late-comer
There was a point where I had never realized that people like me deserve a dream. The genes of procrastination is in me and I am never serious about executing a change.
I was not thinking of doing something when I had all the resources with me, not that I did not want to, but I never know that I had the chance to until it was too late for me to realize.
The calendar on the wall is fulled with remarks, time and resources are now the enemies. While I am blaming on the timing, shall I convinced myself that what happened to me is always the best for the moment? Shall I then wait and go with the flow? Must a late-comer accept the punishment when he has never meant to be? If thing happens when it has to be, does it mean that it is going to happen regardless of whatever incident in the middle of it?
If this is the case, why can't you just grant us with whatever we are going to get in the end? Of course you can, but I will then never appreciate what happiness is when I have never taste the contrary. While, if 'happiness' is the only thing in my life, I guess I will be bored to death. Yes, I am always self-contradictory, isn't life so too?
Isn't it funny that after you have gone round and round and reached some point, then only you realized that you can actually go from here to the point straightly if you have known and planned something earlier on, which you should have to. Yeah, only if you know it earlier which you wish you did. Forgiven or not, there is now no way back, moving forward is the only choice that you are left with. And, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
I was not thinking of doing something when I had all the resources with me, not that I did not want to, but I never know that I had the chance to until it was too late for me to realize.
The calendar on the wall is fulled with remarks, time and resources are now the enemies. While I am blaming on the timing, shall I convinced myself that what happened to me is always the best for the moment? Shall I then wait and go with the flow? Must a late-comer accept the punishment when he has never meant to be? If thing happens when it has to be, does it mean that it is going to happen regardless of whatever incident in the middle of it?
If this is the case, why can't you just grant us with whatever we are going to get in the end? Of course you can, but I will then never appreciate what happiness is when I have never taste the contrary. While, if 'happiness' is the only thing in my life, I guess I will be bored to death. Yes, I am always self-contradictory, isn't life so too?
Isn't it funny that after you have gone round and round and reached some point, then only you realized that you can actually go from here to the point straightly if you have known and planned something earlier on, which you should have to. Yeah, only if you know it earlier which you wish you did. Forgiven or not, there is now no way back, moving forward is the only choice that you are left with. And, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
I'm moving, but left, or right now?
Whatever it is, I shall always take mom's advice of saving for the rainy day, and then only I have the discretion.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Just nonsense
There was once, someone was quering and doubting about the purpose of writing blog. She is in a view that blogging is kind of showing off behaviour, close to psycho because a blogger can't wait to 'display' his/her life to the whole world, using her words, the blogger is begging for love from the reader though the wrting. This could be true, to a certain extent, everyone has a personal reason of blogging which offences no one, but I was pretty upset of receiving it directly from her mouth. However, ''Don't know so don't love'' applies. so no blame on her part.
This is true,a peach lover will never understand someone with serious-peach-phobia*; a non-diary keeper will not understand the reason of us keeping diary; and someone who do not love adventurous activities would never understand why are there so many rock-climbers, hikers, sky-divers etc.. A common question would usually be : ''Why do I spend to suffer myself?'' While for some, it could be all about the adrenaline. Likewise, and no offense, I can never understand people who keep posting on facebook about their activities, when I say activities I mean every single part of the activity. Is this kind of showing off to the world that you are doing something or are you simply making fun of the device? It could be either one depends on how you interprete it. But please blame no one when someone rob your house because a minute ago you just told the world that your house is not occupied in a particular date and time.
Sharing is good, and for your information, I do post, a lot too, but not without filtered, and I don't want to cause wall polution with all those unhealthy information. Of course, it depends on you to decide what the unhealthy is. I blog too, I do simply for the sake of it, this is my own way of expressing myself and sharing, must I make a report to you? No one can force you to do something if you really don't want to, so don't read any of the blog out here when you don't know how to appreciate it or you think you would get irritated by it. Applying your words here, ''don't expect me to follow every single facebook post of you '', you are not expected to go with my flow either. It's true that a blogger expects reader, unfortunately the non-sincere one is not to be included.
What I learn is that don't judge when you don't know, especially with your you-think-you-are-smart-and-know-it-all kind of tone. If you want me to respect you, respect first. I don't know you like how you never know me. There is no right or wrong. We just don't get it.
P/s: Intelligence people ignore, and I guess I am never intelligent.
*youtube: funning peach phobia
This is true,a peach lover will never understand someone with serious-peach-phobia*; a non-diary keeper will not understand the reason of us keeping diary; and someone who do not love adventurous activities would never understand why are there so many rock-climbers, hikers, sky-divers etc.. A common question would usually be : ''Why do I spend to suffer myself?'' While for some, it could be all about the adrenaline. Likewise, and no offense, I can never understand people who keep posting on facebook about their activities, when I say activities I mean every single part of the activity. Is this kind of showing off to the world that you are doing something or are you simply making fun of the device? It could be either one depends on how you interprete it. But please blame no one when someone rob your house because a minute ago you just told the world that your house is not occupied in a particular date and time.
Sharing is good, and for your information, I do post, a lot too, but not without filtered, and I don't want to cause wall polution with all those unhealthy information. Of course, it depends on you to decide what the unhealthy is. I blog too, I do simply for the sake of it, this is my own way of expressing myself and sharing, must I make a report to you? No one can force you to do something if you really don't want to, so don't read any of the blog out here when you don't know how to appreciate it or you think you would get irritated by it. Applying your words here, ''don't expect me to follow every single facebook post of you '', you are not expected to go with my flow either. It's true that a blogger expects reader, unfortunately the non-sincere one is not to be included.
What I learn is that don't judge when you don't know, especially with your you-think-you-are-smart-and-know-it-all kind of tone. If you want me to respect you, respect first. I don't know you like how you never know me. There is no right or wrong. We just don't get it.
P/s: Intelligence people ignore, and I guess I am never intelligent.
*youtube: funning peach phobia
Friday, June 29, 2012
旅行，需要理由？
有人说要一生不后悔至少得尝试说走就走的旅行。我，已经不晓得说走就走Ｎ次了。说我任性？我不否认。所以我的生活虽说不上毫无规划，但就是一踏糊涂，乱七八糟的，是代价吧！我就是那么没出息……对不起爸爸妈妈。
话说回头，旅行真的需要长期规划吗？对有些人来说，是！对有些长途的旅程来说，未必不是。
如果哪一天我再也不能说走就走，那一定是我还存不够旅费。
可请别忘了，能说走就走不代表我有多余的钱。
只是觉得穷有穷的旅行方式，别人能，为什么我不能？一旦我做了出发的决定，这旅程还有更艰难的时刻吗？
这样说好了，我就是只不能没有水的鱼、不能没有天空的鸟、不能没有氧气的生物，无须太多准备功夫，时机来了，要走就走，想走就走，就算哪天我的人身没走，我的心也未必还在。当然，时机是自己说了算的，嘻嘻！
别人是再穷不能穷教育，我家是再穷不能穷旅行。妈妈说，怎样都要去见识见识，看人家怎样吃饭，看人家怎样走路，看人家怎样说话……总有我要学习的。以前爸爸妈妈常常带我们这走那走，现在他们老人家这痛那痛的，站久点都不行，还怎么去走呢？没关系，我相信让我带你们出走的那天一定会到来的。谢谢你们！
话说回头，旅行真的需要长期规划吗？对有些人来说，是！对有些长途的旅程来说，未必不是。
如果哪一天我再也不能说走就走，那一定是我还存不够旅费。
可请别忘了，能说走就走不代表我有多余的钱。
只是觉得穷有穷的旅行方式，别人能，为什么我不能？一旦我做了出发的决定，这旅程还有更艰难的时刻吗？
这样说好了，我就是只不能没有水的鱼、不能没有天空的鸟、不能没有氧气的生物，无须太多准备功夫，时机来了，要走就走，想走就走，就算哪天我的人身没走，我的心也未必还在。当然，时机是自己说了算的，嘻嘻！
别人是再穷不能穷教育，我家是再穷不能穷旅行。妈妈说，怎样都要去见识见识，看人家怎样吃饭，看人家怎样走路，看人家怎样说话……总有我要学习的。以前爸爸妈妈常常带我们这走那走，现在他们老人家这痛那痛的，站久点都不行，还怎么去走呢？没关系，我相信让我带你们出走的那天一定会到来的。谢谢你们！
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
win-win?
Can you make sure all are equal in size all the time?
I know for a fact that it is almost impossible to satisfy every person in life.
But, is there any guidance for me to try not to at least hurt anyone?
Or, those so-called guidance can only be derived from the experiences of me after-hurting someone?
Possibly, otherwise, what is 'life' for?
Monday, May 28, 2012
There's a sun, there's a sunflower
还有不到一天的时间我就暂时上天堂了。
痛苦和煎熬中有遗憾、悔不当初的感觉，同时却也带点成就感，加上那蠢蠢欲动的兴奋分子，和那迫不及待想要出走的心，天使与恶魔交集中。
告诉自己好好享受当下，再煎熬也不过还有那么十几个小时了，剩下的不要想太多，要有信仰，奇迹或许就会出现。（也只能这样盼望了。）
最不喜欢听人家劝自己说“不要灰心，你已经尽你最大的能力了”，或者外语版本的 "Be confident...as long as you have try your best, never get upset when you lose."
The problem is, I'm fed up not simply because of the fact of me losing out, but that of I never try my best, when I always need and have to.
*of course I'm still grateful towards your genuine concern.
When one says that one has tried one's best, does it imply that what s/he gets is the best that s/he can achieved of, which in other words mean that there is no more room for improvement? Well, my position is positive in this regard. And, I feel worst if this is the truth. Of course, one should never overestimate his or her personal capabilities, but equally, one should also never underestimate his/herself, you never know what you can do without trying to pass the threshold afterall.
Not to deny the facts that there are lots of people who always try their best, and everytime they did their best, they are moving on to another level of the best of the best. (This qualifies them for being role models of mine. ) Therefore, interpreting 'trying your best' would also mean that, try your best that you could at the time that you are in. Instead of focusing on 'the best of you', we now turn to the fact of 'the best of you in the circumstances' and this is applicable to all level of challenges. This, nevertheless, seems to bring no significant effect on the above stand. However, when one has really tried s/he best, what s/he can now do is to leave the rest to God.
p/s: God bless you.
痛苦和煎熬中有遗憾、悔不当初的感觉，同时却也带点成就感，加上那蠢蠢欲动的兴奋分子，和那迫不及待想要出走的心，天使与恶魔交集中。
告诉自己好好享受当下，再煎熬也不过还有那么十几个小时了，剩下的不要想太多，要有信仰，奇迹或许就会出现。（也只能这样盼望了。）
最不喜欢听人家劝自己说“不要灰心，你已经尽你最大的能力了”，或者外语版本的 "Be confident...as long as you have try your best, never get upset when you lose."
The problem is, I'm fed up not simply because of the fact of me losing out, but that of I never try my best, when I always need and have to.
*of course I'm still grateful towards your genuine concern.
When one says that one has tried one's best, does it imply that what s/he gets is the best that s/he can achieved of, which in other words mean that there is no more room for improvement? Well, my position is positive in this regard. And, I feel worst if this is the truth. Of course, one should never overestimate his or her personal capabilities, but equally, one should also never underestimate his/herself, you never know what you can do without trying to pass the threshold afterall.
Not to deny the facts that there are lots of people who always try their best, and everytime they did their best, they are moving on to another level of the best of the best. (This qualifies them for being role models of mine. ) Therefore, interpreting 'trying your best' would also mean that, try your best that you could at the time that you are in. Instead of focusing on 'the best of you', we now turn to the fact of 'the best of you in the circumstances' and this is applicable to all level of challenges. This, nevertheless, seems to bring no significant effect on the above stand. However, when one has really tried s/he best, what s/he can now do is to leave the rest to God.
p/s: God bless you.
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