`~` Teow's here `~`

这个世界其实很美好

2011-11-08T19:08:00.004+08:00

朋友误以为上一篇文章是出于我笔下，担心我发生了什么事。
想对她说放心，我不是个好学生也没有上过明星学校，所以不用担心。那只是一篇收藏了好几年的剪报，不久前不小心从笔记本里掉了出来就拿来分享，希望有激励的作用。

我承认“自杀”这个念头曾经无数次的浮现在脑海里，有好几次拿着爸爸的剃胡须刀片在手腕和身上“比手划脚”的，却没有划下去的勇气，还想象说拿个桶来装血才不至于‘太早’被发现而死不成。现在的我其实还蛮感激当时的懦弱，不然我真的会错过很多美好的事情。

幸庆那已经是步入十九岁以前的事了。现在的我忙与盲到没时间去想它，更何况每一分每一秒钟的我们都在接近死亡，我还急什么啊！当然，最重要的是，还有很多我想完成的事情。虽然我没有别人的胸怀大志，也不是来拯救地球的超人，但是我一样可以拥有独自美好的平凡，毕竟Steve Jobs只有一个，就算是复制也是需要代价的，不是吗？

是社会无形的压力把你逼到自杀的地步，抑或是你选择的？其实只要你不要像我一样常常把事情“想埋一边”（广东话），这个世界也可以很美好，真的，只要你我愿意。

p/s:
心里还是很感激那位朋友的关心，虽然我们认识不久，她总是能让人感动。
像上次跟她道谢她有份送的生日礼物，她回说:''……I should thx you bcos I get a friend" 之类的，感慨自己没有她一半的善良。

为什么我没有自杀

2011-10-06T13:11:00.001+08:00

文：吉畂

从小我就是个好学生，一路年上明星高中，人人称羡，我也误以为自己得天独厚，直到大学联考放榜，我只考上一个吊车尾的冷门科系。这才知道我的巧克力盒中也有失败的苦涩。

在大学里课业压力明显减轻，我方眼看着周遭的花花世界，感觉很陌生。也终于有时间低下头来好好审视自己---我究竟是谁？或者有什么价值？结果令我很失望：我原来只是个光有好学生头衔却什么都不会的废人。我逼自己狠狠批斗自己：其貌不扬，没有专长，甚至说不上来有什么兴趣，就算死了，也没人会为我惋惜掉泪。这样的人，活着做什么呢？于是“自杀”的念头时常盘踞在我的脑海，大学生涯更是过的灰暗又封闭。

直到有一天，无意中读到报纸角落一篇短短的寓言故事，我整个人才“轰”地清醒过来。故事大概是这样：

有一只雄壮威武的公猫，甚得母猫的青睐，日子过得得意又自在。一天，它捉到一只老鼠，打算玩弄一番后饱餐一顿，忽然它瞥见小老鼠严重的疑惑：“你为什么要捉我？猫为什么要捉老鼠？”

它被这样的问题一下下问倒了。“对呀！我为什么是只猫？又为什么要捉老鼠？”

它愈来愈瘦小，不复以前的英姿焕发，它还是固执地想找出答案。终于它变得和只老鼠一样弱小，一只狗很轻易地逮捕到它，准备好好折磨一番，它像当初那只老鼠一样质疑地问：“你为什么要捉我？狗为什么要捉猫？”

但狗根本不理它，两三下就把它弄死了。

我不禁哑然失笑。自己正像那只猫，一位宇宙中存在着特定的“标准答案”，一心一意想要追求答案，却忽略了答案其实就在我们每天所过得生活中，吃饭、穿衣、睡觉、学习、付出、爱人与被爱。是我们该去腻于生命意义，而不是等待生命来定义我们。

从此以后，我再也没想过“自杀”这么一回事了。

******

这是很多年前收集到的剪报，想说和大家分享分享。

-No title-

2011-08-12T04:43:00.001+08:00

I found words to be so powerful.

Sometimes people think that what we have had expressing is all that what makes us. You are right, in the sense that if it doesn't, it wouldn't have came out from my mouth at the first place.

But, think twice...Should we presume it of representing the whole cell of a person?

Silence doesn't imply that we care none, so do you who have been spoken out all the way care more than the rest do.

The same thing applies to action as well. What people do in the eyes of you never show the true them, it might because of the incorrect timing.

This might also be the reason people saying that ''Never judge a book by its cover''.

Maybe this is what our dearest PM misconceived, and he presumed that rakyat-rakyat who never joined the 709 rally a month ago physically to be specified, are in his favour.

2011-07-05T22:59:00.007+08:00

I expected myself to know nothing about how the real legal profession works the moment I decided to be an attachment student, and that is why I have to learn as much as I can from every opportunitiy that I could possibly get.

The fourth day of intern is just few more hours to come, yet, I found myself to have lost.

From what my masters told me, I interpreted it as knowing nothing is not important as long as you want to learn, I mean learn from the heart.

Not feeling shameful to share that I had got myself scolded today by who I have have admired long since the first time I watched him speak as a lawyer. There are billions of exellence lawyers out there but not all are to be admired, and humbly saying that I am so very lucky to have two incredible one as my masters at the same time, this is amazing, isn't it!

Back to the main point,I know by myself that it was my wrong, which I should have think before I do anything, and make it clear about what and why I am doing, not to mention thinking twice. These were also advices from him the very first time we sat down and talked.

I am feeling so shameful, not because I got scolded, but that I never take my brain out of the room. Maybe they have already expected an intern student to be their burden, but I should not have taken that for granted, which I never do, seriously. I just feel so very guilty for making extra trouble, more when I could not do anything to reduce their burden at this moment.

At one point, I start to think of the reason which had put myself in this position. The conclusion which I could get is that maybe I haven't know what I actually want in life yet. That's why I always lost. Worst thing is that I am having no solution.

Maybe, this is not something that I should have avoided right now, but to learn from it. Life isn't easy, but not very tough also. Life isn't short, but isn't really long also. I have better appreciate everything that happens in my life, they are meant for me, and this is my life. Things happen for a reason, you never forget that right Chai Hong.

After all, we are all humans.

♡

2011-05-06T22:52:00.006+08:00

每年的母亲节虽然没有大肆庆祝，顶多也是和外婆舅舅一家人一起吃个团圆饭，或是买个蛋糕到饭店凑凑热闹，但至少我都一定会在家和妈妈一起，尽管只是很平凡的度过。可是今年，这个双亲节‘飘香’的季节我刚好得应付考试，所以没得回家=（

在外头，很多时候遇到不顺心的事情，感到很委屈的想要打个电话回家跟父母撒娇，可是想到说还是不要让他们担心好，就干脆不打了，因为怕他们听出我有心事。心有灵犀一点通这句话说得一点也没错，妈妈总会在我最需要关怀的时候打来。有多少次我可以把到嘴边的话咽回去，却无法隐藏心中的激动，让哽咽声出卖了自己，那个时候两端必定会沉默几秒钟，然后谁也不揭穿谁，因为妈妈清楚明白我要让她知道的事情有一天我一定会告诉她的，她也知道我自大，不想让我难堪。就好像有一次我憋了很久，终于在妈妈面前说和朋友相处出现问题时我哭了，我偷偷的把眼泪擦掉以为可以跳过这一段，但其实这一切妈妈都看在心里，那种心疼的眼神我不会看错的。

会说难堪是因为我生长在一个传统的华人家庭，家人之间没有所谓拥抱和吻式的互动来表示彼此的关怀，也没有说“我爱你”的习惯，感情的表达上是比较保守的，但是我们有我们独特的沟通方式，独家仅有的。就好像我跟姐姐就是从小打到大，现在一见面也是水火不相容的那种，不是我们不想改，只是已经习惯这种沟通方式了，知道彼此没有恶意就好。

小时候，如果哪一天我们和其他小朋友有争执，我的母亲知道后会第一时间把我们拉回家打屁屁。以前，我会怪她偏心，不分青红皂白什么的，长大后才知道她的用意，她要我们培养把自己的本分做好的习惯吧。现在，她常常劝我们说“有量才有福”，这句话从她口中用福建音说出来特别有感觉。紧记在心里还不够，我希望我会好好应用，让人与人之间的相处更圆滑些。妈妈用行动教会我的事情更是多不胜数，想必我用一生也学不完吧！

以前总是友情第一，结果才发现自己错过了很多和家人的美好时光；近年，才发现时间过得超快的，脑海里“子欲养而亲不在”这句话挥之不去，所以一有时间我就一定往家里钻，如果不是有什么超级重要的事情我绝对寸步不离家，约过我而都被拒绝的朋友都知道吧。这种粘家的程度是有点极端啦，不过，我认为值得。

不久前，有位同乡问我为何常常在家见到我，难道我不用上课打工之类的吗，还说家里有弟弟看着就好了啊。我微微笑本来不想多说什么的回他说：“你也是啊！”
他说，“要不是因为我的两个老的（父母）不能走（路）非得回来照顾他们，我在外面不懂多好……”
我说“难道我要等到我的两个老的那样我才可以回来吗？（心里重复念着坏的不灵，好的灵！）难道你没有后悔过吗？”
他很坚定而且干脆的说“没有！”

我没有要评论什么，因为每个人孝敬父母的方式不一样，有人选择用心念书，有的努力工作，有的被迫飘扬过海长年不在父母家人身边，等着将来可以赚很多钱回来给父母过好日子；还有的选择出家，为父母、家人铺好重生的路，这何尝不是孝顺的一种？孝顺没有方程式，每个人选择的方式可以不一样，一种米都可以养出百种人了，更何况是不同人的需求当然也不能统一啊，这也是世界精彩的要素之一，不是吗？

还记得我和一位好朋友说过如果我有明天，那么我的将来一定是很平凡，但是很快乐的，是自己的快乐，是一种不是每个人都能体会的快乐，就好像我常常说的我也无法体会他人的一样，毕竟每个人追求的生活都不一样嘛，她同意，因为她也是‘同道中人’，哈哈哈哈哈！

妈妈，谢谢您一直以来对我的包容，我的叛逆让您心上的刀疤没有愈合的余地，也不晓得让您费尽了多少心思和眼泪。您说过您这一生最讨厌任何人‘赐’巴掌给任何人了，而您至今唯一的那巴是打在我脸上的，可想而知当时的您有多挣扎，我永远不会忘记那是我应得的，那种骂在嘴里，打在手上，痛在心里的感受我终究体会到了，对不起！

我希望除了母亲节您的每一天都是快乐的，破腹连产四胎您都办到了，还有什么不可能的呢，加油，我们爱你！

我不会说我的母亲是全天下最好的妈妈，因为她不可能是，也因为“天下的妈妈都是一样的”，谁也分不了那份羹。
但是，她永远是我最爱的妈妈，如果没有永远，至少这一世是肯定的！

P/s: 爸爸，请不要吃醋，我们也一样爱你的，只是母亲节先到你就迁就下吧 : )

roar

2011-05-06T10:26:00.003+08:00

''Hope that exam ends fast, but yet I don't want next week to come so fast.'' -- we are feeling the same man.

* * * * *

Received a message which roughly says that,
if you sit for the exam without completing the needed revision, that is ''courage''.
And if you manage to produce an answer even though you don't understand what the question was asking for, that is ''insistence''.
And, what is friend? Friend is someone who will keep in touch with you no matter how busy they are.

Do you agree?

The first two are always applicable to me, so am I a very brave and well-insisting person?
Maybe yes, but in a wrong way, that's all what I could say.

It's shameful on me -.-

Happy Birthday to myself !

2011-04-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAI HONG !

It's time to introduce new friend to my collection of 'Books of the year' again

yuhooooo!!

But there are so many books out there I want to buy,

which should I own first?

*pondering*

April blue?

2011-04-12T14:01:00.002+08:00

This was supposed to be a cheerful post with the picture above.

Someone who always remind u of how u are a close one to them could be something very sweet of sometimes.

But, when comes to things like money,

they can draw a line in between so clearly just to keep a distance from u,

all in a sudden.

Is someone who mind about whether u celebrate birthday for them and in turn wouldn't join ur celebration if u don't worth ur sincerity?

Was thought as something not to put a weight on when comes to friendship.

But now, when the line is so clearly drawn,

I doubt.

最重要的决定

2011-04-10T14:56:00.001+08:00

♥ 范范范玮琪 ♡ 黑人陈建洲 ♥

不奢华的浪漫爱情故事温暖你的心了吗？

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶

2011-04-07T12:27:00.010+08:00

Pacing up and down within the same vicinity for an indefinable period of time
Like rowing a boat against the water
If I don't advance
I will lag back.☁

You are right
how could we get to see rainbow☀ without a little rain☂ huh *wink*

Praying hard to get through this hurdle of life
Regardless of whatever front there waiting.

''Ask from God, action and you will get it!''
This is what one of our lectures told us, it's not a matter of obtainable-or-not,
but dare you ask for it in the first place? Think thoroughly!
It's her attitude of life that makes me love her badly.

Also, it's time to get out of the shallow well frog!

''...I'm open but I wish I were closed

I didn't want to know what some people know
I am a well dried up
I am a well dried up...''
might no longer be workable......

Do you willing to work harder like there is no tomorrow ?

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶

。。。

2011-04-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

厌倦了只会在做错事后才尝试禰补的自己

一路走来，身边有不少对自己付出真心的朋友
自己却以为这一切都是理所当然的
结果辜负和伤害了一颗又一颗最真诚的心

等到大家对自己心淡时
才来反省和后悔

可惜，再也回不到过去了。

以前是这样，现在也没改变

人说：天生我材必有用
怀疑自己是不是被派来伤害大家和浪费地球资源的

悲哀。。。

水落石不出

2011-03-29T20:58:00.002+08:00

解释非属掩饰不可

沉默也不一定代表心虚

只是

相信包青天的存在

坚持误会会见光死

坚信真相会有大白的一天

可惜

水落不会石出

反而只会把石头磨平

甚至把石头冲到更深处

心寒

2011-03-29T20:21:00.006+08:00

没有心念书，怎么死！！！

~~烦啊！！！！！！~~

·专注·

·专注·

孙悟空是个好员工

2011-03-28T21:30:00.000+08:00

一直很想跟大家分享这本书，

作者成君忆把佛法和心理学套用在被归类成四大型的我们身上，即

孙悟空（力量型）；

唐憎（完美型）；

猪八戒（活泼型）；

沙和尚（和平型）；

针对各类型详究，让读者更了解自己，也有一些为人处世的建议。

书中把《西游记》里的情节与现实生活相联或对比得恰恰好，

看了才知道说原来可以从这样一个角度来看待《西游记》这部寓言故事，

真的是人生如戏，戏如人生啊~

一句话，好看！

这本书出版了好几年了，但是市面上还找得到的，有兴趣的话不妨看看~ =D

‘代言人’真的不好当。。。

2011-03-28T20:59:00.001+08:00

心理的那个结依旧勒得我难以呼吸，一直想找机会解释，脑海里却冒出道歉就等于认错这类想法。

开始时想等对方冷静下来时才去道歉，想想必定会越抹越黑就算了。

日子一久，却不晓得该怎么开口了。

一直在等知道真相的人站出来把事情弄清楚说明白，偏偏当事情发生时个个置身之外，haiz...

不能怪任何人，是你自己嘴巴多。

没有人会去想说一个小小会员的一句话是否就足以构成end result，就算是，也一定会有它的原因，只是会得罪人的话，醒目的人都不会像我酱直话直说。

老实说，心里从来没期望过你们会原谅我，因为我没有被谅解的资格。

当你们不再杯葛我时，天晓得心里那份欣慰……

可是，你们的肚量越大，我就越感到对你们愧疚，所以从此选择孤僻。

以为自己一人做事一人当的时候，才发现正逃避得狼狈，呵。呵。

我的‘为人处世’很多时候也让自己厌恶，尝试去改变，却无所适从，心里的阴影让我寸步难移，却也不移不行啊！

如果我没有把你当朋友，你不会出现在“我的好朋友”文章，而且还被刊登在《知识话报》里头。

如果我没有把你当朋友，小六那年被大家杯葛后，不会当作没一回事。

如果我没有把你当朋友，我不会把最私隐、最裸的心情日记和你分享，而至今你依然是唯一那位。

被背叛的感受我何尝会不了解，小小年纪伤口就被补了再补，那种滋味就会好受吗？

这句埋藏在心里许久的“对不起”一定要告诉你，虽然于事无补。

不确定今天的你还会不会来这里，还是想说，你是我遇过肚量最大的人。

摇篮手启示

2011-03-10T01:16:00.005+08:00

刚从马大华文学会举办的年度大型摇篮手创作歌曲发表演绎会回来。

看着一大班年龄和自己不相上下的人们，为自己的理想不惜付出与牺牲；也有的把自身的经历创作化，希望能借此激励他人，这是多么伟大的一件事啊！

当中印象最深的是蔡睨蒸的《转身》，整个礼堂的人都为他的歌声痴迷，台下鸦雀无声，可以想象吧！主持人称他为十帅少两帅，那两帅是小眼睛和大屁股。但是我认为，或许就是因为他这两帅不全让他成为校园的风云人物吧，慧敏形容得贴切，他身上所散发出来的亲民气息让大家对他疼爱有加。多么幸运的一个人啊！

另外一位就是〈学海报〉举办的创作赛冠军得主，黄祖恩的《画墙》。一个初中生能够把自己的经历用文字表达得如此贴切，又那么感性，我实在不能不给她一个‘赞’啊！看到没，知识不会偏袒任何人，天时地利人和，你就是赢家。

歌词中让我感触最深的那段是这样说的：不要往自己身上画一到墙，没有人会去想要跨过那道墙去关心你，自己多难受都只有自己才知道，累积后只会成为伤。

仿佛在跟自己说：
把心门打开吧，委屈不能只往肚里吞，或许有些误会无法解，也不想弄巧反拙，但是不能因此而一支竹杆打翻整艘船啊，把那道墙撤掉吧，不然受苦的只有自己，也没有人会理你，白受罪不碍事，糟的是把自己的人生也赔上了。
把心门打开吧，至少有个可以谈心的地方。

加油祖恩小朋友，希望未来的日子里可以看到更多你那么棒的作品。也想说，那位Jenny小姐把这首歌唱得满不错的，有被感动到啦！

年轻是暂时性的，梦想却可以是一辈子的，不管你的梦想是什么，不管你几岁，勇敢去追寻你的梦吧！别以为你是孤军作战的，外头还有多的是和你一样因为一些所谓的阻碍而原地不动的人。去吧，尽力去实现你的愿望吧，就算最后不成功，至少你尝试过，更何况，成功是可以随你定义的，生活就在流逝中的每一分、每一秒，加油吧，朋友！

心里那种说不出的激动久久不能平息，是……年轻的呼唤吧！

Congratulation buddy!

2011-03-07T19:44:00.007+08:00

One of my besties here told me that he is now in a relationship with someone he has known for almost 2 years*.
I hope he wouldn't mind me sharing his story briefly here, sorry guy ! ;P
*Time is not an issue here though, but timing does!

Like I said, they knew each other 2 years to come.
The first year they studied in a same course and class, without any communication, imaginable right.
For the second year, they studying in a another college but different courses, and months ago they staying under the same roof, after an interval of properly 8 months.
Things happened during that period, where each of them had had their own love story to tell.
Until the closer months to come, they falling in love with each other. And here they are couple.

Their story indicates that time comes when it needed to be.
Also, the one suits you the most is always the one beside us without us realizing it.
This is an advantage as we already know each other well. But, not good in the sense that we know each other too well.

I am kinda impressed with the way he try to let us know about it. What he planned to do was that "let's go for a meal and I am going to tell u all...", according to his impliedly delivered message.
Come out, he named both of them and I made a correct shoot.
My first response was shocked and couldn't manage to think properly. I am a primary victim of the aftermath incident and entitled to claim for psychiatric injury...haha
See, anything is possible !!

Honestly speaking, I am so glad that he is sharing the good news with us, intimate friends as he named. I am so proud to have him as one of my best friends. He deserves the purest love on earth.

May all of my friends be showered with joy and love always~

Today is a wonderful day, and so will it be the days to come.

p/s : Staying under the same roof (for whatever reason) is a good strategy to gain a lover...=D

质变

2011-02-15T09:20:00.003+08:00

H和N是好朋友。

H和N念的中学每年运动会负责布置的同学们在前一天都会在学校忙，有些甚至忙到快天亮，这是Y学校的其中一个特征。

这一年的运动会前夕，H和N和队友轮完班后就回N的家。

这已经是不知多少次H在N家“留宿”了。

两个小女生在一起肯定少不了互相“报料”，这一夜，双方交换了不少彼此的秘密，并且答应不告诉任何人。

其中，H猜拳输了，所以得先说出自己当时喜欢的人。

结果是，原来双方都暗恋着同一个人，L。

H以为她们的关系会因此而更上一层楼，毕竟更了解对方了。

之后的某一天，H获知N跟她身边的朋友说H告诉N，H也喜欢L，好像是在警告N不要和她‘抢’L等。

H答应告诉她实情的朋友不去问N，但是H真的不希望N一直误会她，所以就传简讯给N，告诉她，当时她们只是在谈心，而且是H先说出她喜欢的人的，所以当时H不可能已经知道N的对象之类的。
H想让N了解当时她们只是很单纯的友谊似分享一切，并没有其它不良企图。

N回传来的简讯虽然没有否认这一切，但是她也坚持H当晚是在警告她，现在也一样。当中有一句是这样的：“……你要L就去吧，我让给你”之类的。

H尝试跟N解释，简讯就这样传来传去，但是事情就是越描越黑。
最让H心痛的是N竟然指H是神经病！就这样，她们从此没有任何交际，在学校遇到对方时，谁也没有上前去慰问，很多时候更是把对方当作透明的。

这事儿留给H的教训是：有任何重要的事情，尤其是想解释误会是千万不要以传简讯来实行，因为字体没有表情，没有语气，可能会造成无法想象的误会，除非你很擅长以文字来表达你的情绪。

比方说，当时你是很好奇的问一些事情，到了对方的眼里，他可能会认为你在质问他，最糟糕的是双方都不知道对方是怎么想的。
这就是误会开始产生的时候，而星星之火真的可以燎原！

或许因为双方都是白羊座的关系，都是好胜好强的代言人，所以谁也不想让谁一步。

又或许当时双方都是这样想的，只要对方先来说一句话，我就当作事情没发生过。

这类的“等待”让友情完全变质了，这几年下来完全没有联系，变成比陌生人更陌生的陌生人。

H体会到原来她们之间的友谊是那么的不可一击，还谈什么好朋友，是自己自作多情了吧！

好朋友不会在你背后扭曲你说的话，也不会违背诺言，这是报应！

另一方面，这一直是H心里的一个痛，H遗憾自己当时的沟通不当，遗憾自己的不谅解，遗憾自己没有在适当的时候把友情给挽回。

毕竟，她们曾经那么要好过……

f* things

2010-12-11T17:21:00.012+08:00

m seriously demotivated recently, and it kills when m supposed to be in the exam mode.

Sitting in front of my laptop for hours (should be for days) without any strenuous movement, but still freaking starving all the time (though normal meals are in supply), exactly the same way the vampire craving for blood, I guess.

Time shouldn't be wasted like this. Life shouldn't be in this way either.

m seriously hopeless man...

''Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.'' by Abraham Lincoln shall bring me back to the reality...

Well, let's call it a post.

Pieces of iT~

2010-11-22T11:11:00.008+08:00

Hai blog,

I skipped two classes deliberately this morning simply because I didn't prepare for the Tort's time-test which supposed to be carried on during the first class of today.

Yea,''supposed''...because I just got to know that Ms. Gan was lecturing without even mentioning a word of the test! Means, I missed a lecture=(

Of course I'm feeling guilty for skipping classes but laziness 'conquered' me, which shouldn't be fun, at all!
*''Laziness kills'' in practice!!*

To shift my attention from that, I have chosen something 'meaningful' to do, you are right, that's to blog.

Few pictures have been selected, edited and uploaded from my messy folders to share with you.

Those are some of my best friends here in college, who perfecting the ordinary life of mine......

Apa lu mau ??!

2010-11-02T20:17:00.015+08:00

心情乱糟糟的，又烦又忙，还是又忙又烦？是忙到让我烦？还是忙着烦又要忙着忙？？！

真的很烦啊！！！！！

我不抗拒课业或生活所带来的压力，毕竟压力就是动力，但是请提升我的抗压power好吗？！

在家的时候可以看看一望无际的‘稻海’来解压、放松心情；

在这里叻，四面都是钢骨水泥，不被逼死才怪！

想回去见见‘乡亲’；想回去闻闻有浓浓稻草香和泥味的新鲜空气；想回去趴在有我满满口水味的床垫上；想回去和邻居的小孩比赛踩脚踏车、玩捉迷藏；想每天都吃到妈妈煮的饭菜、煲的汤

··· ···

有很多好想做的事，却有更多的约束（借口！！）

其中，有一件不想做的事情就是---不想再偷偷看爸爸的背影

请原谅我的语无伦次！

谢谢！！

I said, dilemma.

2010-10-28T21:34:00.009+08:00

Recently, I seem to have more passion towards Buddhism, I attended a few ativities under KDUBSC and I assuming myself to have benefited quite a lot from it. Maybe you will think that participating in activites like this isn't a big deal but for me it does. For person like me,who was quite resisting to religious-related things,I developed passion towards it once I took the chance to know it better.This is just like the philosophy of a relationship or life,where we dislike a person due to the reason that we never know him/her well, but once we try to know them,the situation changed, in a positive manner.

My problem now is that I don't know whether should I take the refuge under Buddha Dharma or not. To persuade myself to take the refuge, I appoached myself to the question sounds ''Why should we take the refuge under Buddha Dharma and what is the benefit for doing that?'' Geshela, a venerable resident teacher of a buddist society,LCD PJ, said that refuge has the power of multiplying our merits to 100 millions times, it somehow inlustrates that we will not be born into the hell in the 'coming-life' for sure (if you do believe in things like this).

'Journey to the hell' is not my main concern here, as I can really foresee the benefits of learning Buddhism in a proper manner, with the fact that there must be a reason for numerous believers out there and I, myself to a certain extent do have gotten something from it. Regardless of the merit we will obtain from it, I can only choose one among a number of beneficial religions around me, including my original religion, Taoism. Once, somebody asked Geshela can we still attach to our original religion after we have taking the refuge, and Geshela's answer was that when we already have something which is the best, and there is nothing better than ours, why should we approach the other ? So did my mother tell me before, she told me that when we already have something which is considered good to us and comfortable with, it is just enough to stick to one and put our faith on it whatsoever.

This has in fact worsen my situation, in the sense that when everyone is taking good about their own, which one should I choose? I know that I have to be ''loyal'' to only one of them, but I really can't make my decision now. Should I take the refuge and precepts under the Buddha Dharma without my parent's consent, given that I am sure they will not agree with me if I were to tell them the truth in the first place?However, I choose to believe that they will be thinking in a different manner if I were to prove to them that I am getting better with this 'new teaching'. Taking refuge is kind of a significant and transitional moment which may affect the rest of the life, at least to me personally, so I really need some guidances now...

I，Me，My，Mine？

2010-10-26T00:54:00.004+08:00

或许一直以来就是因为太执着于自己的想法，所以让身边的人觉得我很难相处，进而选择把自己关在自己的世界里许久，当个孤僻的人。
有人主张一个人要有主见，才显得有个性、有想法；而往往当你太有主见时，人家就会说你不随和、霸道等的。
做人的道理一直都是自己摸索出来的，或许少了‘贵人’的指点会比别人领悟得慢很多，但是希望现在开始纠正也不迟。

结〈下〉

2010-09-05T14:33:00.011+08:00

写了那么多好像要让人家以为我有多委屈，吃了多少苦头才走过来的。拜托，没有人会了解你的啦，别人又不是你，就好像你无法体会他人的处境一样。所谓“事不关己，不关心”，在你心中留下痕迹的，最了不起的，在外人听来其实只是无聊透顶罢了。也不完全是不关心，而是无法体会，毕竟你我的生长环境各不相同嘛！
更何况这能算是何等的苦啊！

还记得当初站在十字路口时，有劝告说做事情不要不自量力，也有人说没尝试过怎么知道结果，那个时候是怎么想的不是很记得了,　有时侯雄心壮志的，有时侯懵懵懂懂的，就这样走到了这里。侥幸渡过一关，自知难度更高的挑战一直还在前方呢，所以还是送自己那句老掉牙的话,　“不要给自己后路”以此警惕，应该就能生存到最后吧，希望如此。。

接下来的每个学期应该要腾出更多的时间在课业上的，但是最近除了功课，课外活动和消遣也把时间表给塞满了,
是会有喘不过气的时候，但至少能够让我暂时忘却念家却无法回去所带来的‘痛苦’（是这样形容的吧？！），或许这样也好。。。

现在最想知道的事情就是到底有什么健康的方法可以让一个人时时刻刻都精力旺盛，还要是那种长期性的?

结〈上〉

2010-09-04T11:29:00.004+08:00

哇超过半年没上来整理了真是太懒了啊！！

首先，恭喜所有顺利进级第二年的同学，没有的也不必灰心，检讨后继续努力可必就能成功了！那些跌倒后再站起来的朋友让我更佩服，是真的，因为换作是自己我也未必有勇气重新来过。

其实，一直觉得自己非常侥幸能够顺利进级第二年。很多人认为念学院的只要是学费缴足了就能够顺利毕业，以前的我也是那么想的，直到自己“亲身体验”后才对事情更了解一些。也许，接近所有的学院都属于见钱眼开，为了学院的名誉不惜把程度降到最低，让大多数“财神爷”过关以不致于误了财路啊！不幸的是我念的从课程编排、出题、批改到过不过关都非本学院能够掌控得了的。都怪自己没搞清楚这双联课程的‘真面目’而掉进‘陷阱’里头去了。

从第一年的第一个星期，讲师们就对我们强调说这课程一直是史上排名难度最高的法律课程前三名。在全球，每年考得1st class的不少，但是考得平平的或者不及格的更多，真正的数据我不记得了，只知道在马来西亚，每年考得1st class的人数是屈指可数啊！讲师们希望我们看清楚想明白自己的能力后才决定要不要继续念，或者转科系，还说接下来的压力不是每个人都能承受的，我说啊，这些讲师真‘倒米’。说当时心里没有顾虑是假的，但是毕竟没有多余的钱财与时间让我挥霍，所以只能不自量力的、硬着头皮的‘上阵’去，然后就把讲师的劝告抛到脑后去了。

真正能够体会讲师们说的是在考试的前三个月，那时候开始了解到这个玩笑是我所开不起的，我没有后路可走（这句话真绝！）。心里明白到只剩三个月的时间了，我必需得现实点，当初想拿最好的成绩的梦想真的只是个梦了，能不能及格还是个未知数呢。这段时间本应该是作最后冲刺的时候了，可是我才正开始找到念法律的要诀、才开始了解我在学的是什么。真的是迟了，不过很幸庆有讲师（还是叫老师亲切点）发现到我们华校生的困惑，他们让我们明白虽然我们是在起点输了其他人一大步，但是要过这关还是有可能的，前提是本身真的得付出，而且是高于其他人很多很多倍的努力，否则一切都属于空谈。当中就有一位出于华校的法律系精英，她背后所付出的我无法体会却让我很敬佩；另一位呢，属于现实派的精英，却在这三个内转用心理战略来激励我们，宛如有他在我们就看得到曙光般。他们的话最终成为我仅存的备战时刻的精神粮食，又或者说是我压力的支撑点。终于，我被迫抱着姑且一试的心态、假有信心的外表上‘战场’去了。

战场上，看到来自不同学院的，年龄层从18到大约50几的，有的信心满满，有的到最后一刻还紧包着笔记本死命啃的（我属于这临时抱佛脚这一派的），泄劲所能的持住颤抖的手在三小时内完整作答。把屁股粘在考椅上三小时没移动不是没试过，当初STPM就是这样子啊，可这一次作答的四题都是essay题，每题还最少要四页，四科都一样，那考官才考虑要不要让你过关呢。

五月二十一日，我完成了我第一个degree的第一个final的一半，另一半就看那些英国佬/婆批改官（小的无礼请您谅解）成不成全我了。。。

啼

2010-01-20T05:30:00.000+08:00

凌晨5点18分，正当我阅读得正起劲的时候，突然间几声‘熟悉’的声音传起，刺激了我的感官，是鸡啼声耶~ 我心里想在这钢骨水泥的城市里怎么可能有人侍养家禽呢，随之，我打开窗口想寻找声音的源处，
同时，心血来潮的想把这一刻记载下来。

5点28分了，我还是没有头绪，鸡啼声频频响起之间还有个short break，大约30秒，老实说我真的有去算，是白痴吗？不，是好奇！
想来想去，还是不晓得鸡啼声何来，心想是不是这里的人不讨厌家禽带来的异味，所以没人去投诉呢？i don‘t know。

5点33分，鸡啼声变得每隔一分钟才响起。

5点35分，鸡啼声没了了。

39分，两声

。
。
。

这悦耳的声音让我忽然间好怀念家里那雨天后会带来‘特别味道’的旁院。。。好怀念。。。

hui~ 醒来啊！！！忘了等下的time test吗？！Ok, 待续。。。

p/s: 47分，那公鸡丝毫没有想休息的感觉反之那啼声更响亮、更频繁了。。上帝创造了这天然、365天不眠不休且定时响起的‘闹钟’，多神奇啊

Again ?!

2010-01-03T20:24:00.005+08:00

My first semester break is ending in the moment, tomorrow gonna being well-prepared for a new sem and resolutions.

Looking back to what have I actually done in my past three-weeks time, well, I could say that I had done all I want to do except catching up the syllabus where I supposed and MUST do :<

My family and I went for four local vacations and it does fit its purpose - family time, relaxation, self-upgrading, etc lolz. While, not forget to mention about friends gathering too. Overall, I personally have had a marvellous time especially with my family, as it always seem hard to have the whole family to gather for a same and the only purpose. I really enjoy and appreaciate.

久违

2009-12-09T21:38:00.003+08:00

明天最后一张paper, 现在的我既然没有心情念书，显然没被今天的教训给击倒，可悲啊可悲。

在网上‘闲逛’的当儿，忽然电话响起，yiii...是个陌生的号码。电话接起，一听就知道是他，中五毕业到现在都有好几年了，他的声音还是没变，还是那么滑稽，哈哈哈。。。

记得当初他是插班生，跟我们‘混’熟后就很自然的变一伙了，几年下来常常有通电话，直到去年年中，发给他的简讯都没有了音讯，以为他忙，也就没再打扰他了。再次听见他的消息是在今年年头，听说他结婚了，当时第一个反应是“hah???”，心想不可能啊，他---这种性格······怎么可能会未婚先子，不可能啦！回头想想没什么不可能的啦，况且他也刚好成年了啊，祝福他吧，只是，一切来得太突然了。

以为就这样和他失去连络了，却在不久前接到他的来电。同样的人，不同的心境，但是口吻依然，说说笑笑的，就好像中间的一切都没发生过似的。他不提的我也没问，他还记得跟我连络，就该庆幸了，原来他还记得我这个老同学，老朋友。聊到近况时，他知道我在大考期间也就说不打扰我了，就这样，一切归位。

这次过后就不晓得什么时候会再听见他声音，甚至再见到他了，他应该会很忙吧，打拼事业，照顾孩子，等等等，以后有没有机会再联系都没关系，这个朋友我会放在心上，希望他永远健康快乐，万事顺利就好了。怎么讲到好像新年贺语似的，呵呵呵。。。正常啦，新的年头也快到了呀，意味着团聚的日子也不远了，朋友们，你们准备好了吗？？！。。。准备什么？+.+''

A DaY

2009-12-02T00:12:00.019+08:00

A group of us were went to find new units for the new campus after the class. Everything is well enough, all basic things are provided, can ask for new cat somemore, the landlord is just so nice. There are a basketball court in front of the condo (an utmost important feature for them especially Tet Woei, Elven and Hui Ping), a mini swimming pool (my main criteria in searching for the new housing area, hehe) with barbecue facilities around, car park, and whatever you can think of are almost all there, good enough really.

When we were at the parking slots, Kenn pointed out three of the luxurious cars, one of the number plat shows 9108 if not mistaken and another two with same number, 6332 and said that they are belonging to the CEO of Sin CHew Sdn Bhd, Zhang Xiao Qin. The same thing mentioned by the landlord when he told us that the two guys he was having conversation with are the driver and body guard of the honour Zhang. Are they trying to tell us that even that kind of honour group people also live in these condos, so we should have no worries about the quality ?

From what we had surveyed, the place is really nice, just my plan now is to stay back here for next semester, seen my place now is just too nice, kindness landlordsss + friendly housematesss, I am just too reluctant to move out and meanwhile I am just moving in for about 3 months only. Yet, I shall still take into account that the conveniency of taking the shuttle buses between current location and the new campus, if it does become a big deal in the future then i will definitely consider the place you all recomended today.

Well, not forget to thank you those who have been spending plenty of time and making the effort in seeking new housing areas for us, appreciated !

After that, we were having our dinner at Kota Damansara. The situation is a bit troublesome with that drizzle, but well it did not really affect our cheerful and yet tiring mood. E-Shynn and I were agreed simultaneously to have ba kut teh and we had ordered one set with yam rice for two. It costed us RM19 but the tastes was under my expectation.

My whole day was just about doing revision in the morning, went to college until 5pm, units hunting and dinner until 9pm, facebooking and mail-checking+replying until now and the whole day seem like just flies. Well, revision and preparation shall be carried on for my next week mock exam, good luck dear ^^ and good night everybody ''P.

Friday night

2009-11-20T22:59:00.015+08:00

This afternoon's Contract Law class had been cancelled in a sudden(because Mr. Ng having E/L), Ah Sun, Elaine, Wei Ying, Wai Yee, Raimi, Cai Chin & I were then went for a movie at Tropicana City Mall.

Well, we were watching the current HOTtest movie-2012.

During advertising time, Wei Ying said that lots of those who watched it were so touching until cry, I was in doubt at that moment, but you know what I was the minority who dropped the tears during the show, actually only 2 of us were that sentimental, haha...

Personally, I was so touching not just because of the conversations between each pair of the family members, but also I feel like we are nothing, I mean WE, human being are really NOTHING. When the earthquake are happening, for instance, we all are just like the ants, too tiny and insignificant, which then disappear without any notice.

In fact, all of the happenings in the movie are predictable, expectable and it is just a matter of time, just we never really take it seriously before it happens. Most of us are just like: Well, it haven't happened then need not care about it. We prefer waiting until the irreversible tradegy had occured then only we regret. Even if we regret, it also just for a really short period then we will forget about it and repeating the same errors. So, what I should actually do is that cherish on whatever I possessing now, avoid doing things that upsetting the rest and never take it too seriously when any undesirable or unhappy things happen to me, they happen for a reason yet just somehow insignifant overall, it worth not to angry about it.

After 2 months' post

2009-11-15T03:33:00.003+08:00

''......

Frens: You slept very late again ah?
Me: No...y?
Frens: Coz u look so sleepy...hahahhaz
Me: Is it? Who got mirror, can borrow me?...hav to 'edit' a bit before meeting the rest (but actually v are in the class n almost everyone is there)
Frens: Still same...actually......u look sleepy everyday...(everybody laugh uncontrolable)
Me: *sigh...
......''
I am not sleepy anyway and I do get enough sleep most of the time...juz hav 'a bit' problem with my look, i mean ' a bit'...

That was part of my daily conversation with my coursemates. The 1st question would be the famous one, properly will be asking once for two days. And yea, it illustrates my life here, for those who wanna know, hehe...
Now I know how uni life be, there are really endless activities(either school's or personal's) and assignmentsSSSs. Spending the whole day to do readings and researchs for a brand new topic(for those who never touch
law before) and 'unapproachable' assignment, it seem like normal for having restless or even sleepless nightsss over here.
A friend of mine who ever said that: ''Lots of the people surrounding us putting so much endeavors in chasing their dreams and so-called brightness future. One of the ways is working without rest or get only few hours rest per day. They believed that sacrifing their sleeping time to do work would be paid off one day and they pratice it regularly. It is true that in the future they may earn a fortune, get whatever they want, achieve their dream or whatsoever. But what if they get to face health problems like cancers or something else bcos of not getting enough rest or sleep? Do you think it worth? Let says, our life is represented by '0' as we are born with nothing, then if life achievement is '1' and another '1' is for health. In reality, working hard without sacrificing and get great achievement is almost to say impossible; while working hard + sacrificing will get the greatest outcome in most of the time.If, 1 (achievement)+ (-1) (health problems) = 0. That's means we are still getting nothing in life. So, why people still keep doing this kind of st*pid job, they knew it but they did it ?!!''
Wao...I remembered that 3 of us were disscussing this issue in the bus, some said it worth, some said otherwise. It is arguably. I would never forget the time that we 'shared' until gonna get into fighting, I mean oral fight and finally came to a conclusion that this is not really a matter of worthiness but life enjoyment. Life is about chasing dreams, it does not really matter about the outcome but the process (but a positive outcome would definitely be more than welcome), as long as you do what you want without creating inconvenience to the rest and you are comfortable and happy with it, then,that's enough, you does live the life. Don't you think so ??
Personally, I have a bit regret for believing that''sacrificing for a dream'' is worth but never praticing it before, because I supposed to complete more tasks in that time and it might bring me closer to my destiny.
It may be quite tough to start doing something that you never try before, but I had gave it a try and it works. Initially, I was so despressed because of can't sleep and need to do revision and assignments alone at the midnight. Iwalked around my room, looking through the windows and spoke to no one, I was seeking ways to reboot myself and finally I found something...
It really boost me up when I found somebody over there were actually burning midnight oil too, we did not contact each other(because of busying with those homeworks and studys) but I was feeling so warm, it seem like somebody are accompaning you and you know what I will keep checking the list of online-ing people everytime I feel sleepy, it helps.

家

2009-09-28T01:08:00.000+08:00

人家说出国（指有时差的国家）才会有时间颠倒的状况，我叻，只是回家一个星期而已嘛就已经面对这个问题了。现在已经是凌晨三点二十分了，我还是完全没有睡意，糟糕。。。我向来都是‘早睡迟起’的健康宝宝，如今‘名誉’不保了，唉。。。

回到岗位上，满脑子却全都是家乡的点滴，好烦哦！你让我无法专心念书叻！
我这次的假期没有所谓的旅行、郊游或者是亲朋戚友间的大型聚会，反之，我把大部分的时间都花在家里，家的‘里面’。
我享受独自在家里徘徊，静静的观望身边的每个角落，再细细的回想曾经发生过的一切，让每个角落更具怀念价值的一切……
当然，也想花更多时间和家人相处来以禰补过去不懂得珍惜的。
有时，我会想，为什么‘我’会是‘我’？为什么‘他’又会是‘他’？为什么在这里的是‘我’？为什么我的家人朋友是‘我的家人朋友’？好多好多的‘为-什-么’我都解不开。
无法解答不如好好去‘品尝’吧，我是这么想的。

回想起以前在家里的日子，一家大小经常为了一件小事闹意见，凭着“你不输给我，我也不让你赢”的心态而闹得终日‘鸡犬不宁’，当时只想说：“OMG，为什么我有那么无理取闹的家人，神啊，救救我吧，带我远离这个家不成家的家吧”；而今，自己一个人到外头求学，偶尔想找个机会和兄弟姐妹斗嘴的机会也难了，就算一捉到机会就回家想说聚聚去，但你也知道不可能每次都人齐的，而当获知任何一位家庭成员缺席时，那种失落感是非笔墨所能形容的。

终于，我发现，幸福是吵吵闹闹；而“珍惜”，又为何物了。

Co-co

2009-09-17T22:03:00.000+08:00

Badminton Club于今天傍晚六时在auditorium进行first assembly，五点上完Public Law后就约了Jessica and Wai Yee去吃晚餐，结果就迟了大约二十分钟咯。Sigh…我迟到的习惯还是改不了。
这次的assembly只是让会员们打打球，连络感情醬咯，老实说，很成功叻，大家说说笑笑玩玩，两个小时就酱suuu一下就过去了。所以啊，俗语说得好：“欢乐的时光总是过得特别快地（di）”。

告诉你们噢，你们的名字我都记住了，特威+AlVen+幼艺+Nicholas+Wai kit+Sheng Yi+Satis Kumar+Hui Ming+Hui Ping，来啦，明天再考我啦，这次一定pass的咯，嘻嘻嘻嘻嘻。。。

记得当初我糊里糊涂地把Badminton Club的membership纸当作 attendance list来填，后知后觉的我还以为糟了，又有得忙了，but now，我发现来这里整整一个月又两天除了每天赶去上课与偶尔搭车回家外根本就没有流汗的份儿，现在好啦终于逮到运动的机会了，yeah！所以明天的assembly我一定会到，等我哦！！！

！！！唉呀糟糕忘了拍照tim {=.=’’}

P/s: 你知道运动带给我的‘后遗症’是什么吗？说你也不会相信，是- - - - -‘傻笑’。。。现在的我就是酱咯，整个人好轻松自在噢，真是太好了！

Ok, fine，休息也休息够了，大脑疲劳也缓解了吧，then……做功课去啦~~

U wouldn't know how much I miss U

2009-09-16T22:25:00.000+08:00

I AM FINE

2009-09-16T20:38:00.000+08:00

Well well well......it has been exactly one month I spent my life over here, how does it be ?

As a college student, I realised that it is extremely important to be independent.
You know, no matter what I do, either go to the school, have meals, cocuriculum, or do my homeworks, I have to be alone...Seriously, that doesn't mean that I don't have any coursemate or friend to accompany me, but to what extent they used to be with me? We go to the class together, having lunch together, joinning the same club and maybe hanging out for the whole day, but in the end, they are still not going to be part of my life, or maybe it is just for this moment. It is unfair to say so, but it's true. No offence.

The month before I spent to know my school, find the hints in getting start with my law course (more specifically, find the way to learn a totally different subject from previous science study), and the most important part is the attempt to mingle around in the class.
And now, I just want to let my parent know that: ''Daddy and mommy, I am really fine here, the lectures are very enthusiatic in the teaching and learning process, and you are right, the people here are very nice, especially my coursemates, they all treat me really really nice and sometimes they do help me a lot. Meanwhile, the landlord and his family plus the other housemates are also very friendly, we treat each other as our own family members, I am very comfortable with this environment, thank you for sending me here. Somemore, daddy and mommy, I will always keep myself as healthy as possible so that you need not worry about me. I know the prominent thing is about my study, I promised you right, I will really put effort in it. Last but not least, I MISS YOU ALL SOOO MUCH and I can't wait to go back during the raya break now.''
For my friends:''Hii all...I think you supposed to know how crazy am I dealing with my new life and study, as I think what you all are dealing with too, don't you? Come on, who are planning for the next gathering or trip, let me know yea,thx and hope to see you soon~~"

JUNE

2009-06-27T20:54:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a long time didn't manage my blog, so lazy am I...

It's end of June now, everyone[I mean my ex-classmate(s)] is going back to their own position which is further their tertiary study. All of us are now ''distributed'' among the country, some in Penang, Kedah, Pahang, Johor, Kuala Lumpur, Sarawak...the nearest is in Tanjung Malim while the farthest is in Singapore (excluding those study under JPA overseas la).

I got my last choice among the eight, which is UNIMAS, Sarawak. It's under my choose and I should be glad yet... I had made another decision. After having a few days' so-called proper and serious discussions with my parents and friends, it comes to a conclusion that, no Unimas but KDU. Of course my family and I are not rich enough to cover the whole education expenditure there, it must be supporting by the third party, some sort like education fund and PTPTN lol.
Incidentally, a sincere ''Thank You'' to Bee Fang and Ong for lending me a hand during the scholarship's interview, I am really grateful about that ^^ .

Huh, JUNE ---- a month full with special feelings...u+n

9-10 June 2009 - My first oversea trip (Thailand) with my family
12-14 June 2009 - The last friendship vacation at Pangkor Island, Malaysia for this summer
19 June 2009 - The releasing of U's entry, UPU
20 June 2009 - (If not mistaken) The fifth 5D1'06 friends' reunion
23 June 2009 - Decision making for rejecting U, by then entering college [ A decision today, an I tomorrow ]
26 June 2009 (about 3 am Local Time ) - Breaking news about the death of Michael Jackson, the King of POP
27/28 June 2009 - Starting days of the university life for my fellow friends

;-> ;-< ;-$ ;-O ;-@ ;-D ;-X ;-( ;-) ;-G ;-q ;-Z ;-# *-) ;-P :'( l-)

Anyway, everything has became a history...
And so, FRIENDS, best luck from me to you all, for your new journey of life and bright future !!!

夫唱妇随

2009-05-27T13:12:00.000+08:00

通常红色代表女士，蓝色代表男士，但我‘养’的那两只snails却例外，呵呵……

挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩真的好吗?？!

2009-05-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

凡走过必留下痕迹---让人回味的也好，令人避之不谈的也罢，至少它是我独有的。

招财猫启示

2009-05-11T19:24:00.000+08:00

这个假期生活真是闲得慌、闲得乱七八糟的，久久也没有值得分享的事件，心里真的很过意不去。

今天整理书桌时发现了这个玩意儿--一个由朋友从日本带回来的 “陶器招财猫吊饰”。

这朋友真是超级有心的，认识她未满一个月，和家人越洋过节的她却还不忘给我带手信，谢谢你厚，嘉莹^^

~卡片上的祈语也是你赠于我的祝福吧~

已经是三个月前的事了，还记得当时的她说：“下次见到你时，要看到它挂在你手机哦……”。我想说，不好意思嘉莹，那不可能，因为…………因为…………因为我一直都舍不得拿来用 XD XD XD

**朋友，我们下一次的聚会近了吗？
我不晓得

雨声

2009-02-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

回到家乡的第九个晚上，天空终于下起雨来，而且还是那种三分钟热度的倾盆大雨呢。

听到豆大豆大雨珠在房子外头车棚上噼噼啪啪的急响起，心里有种说不出的快感，因为这是住公寓所听不到的声音，住在公寓，雨势再大，也不会直接打在屋顶。

轻松一下^^

2009-02-20T20:03:00.000+08:00

老朋友们，还记得考STPM前的最后一次聚餐上，我为你们拍的“大头照”吗？？！不好意思，没经你们的同意就把照片整理出来了。。。呵呵。。。

首先，是 ‘brother n sister’ 关系的 NeeNee 和 Ah Beng。
左边那张像不像香港娱乐圈那位沈大姐啊？！
开玩笑的啦！

接下来，是我们的碧云姐--v

然后到敏丽姐--v

再来，就是我们另一波的重头大戏了。
锵锵锵锵。。。阿田koko(是哥哥不是可可啦）和他的绯闻兼神秘女友---〉‘蒙面女侠’(ultrawoman)。大家酱熟，不用我讲你也知道是谁咯，哈哈哈哈哈哈！！

*噢这个啊，是幕后花絮来地，阿霜姐帮我拍的，让大家娱乐娱乐下咯，呵呵呵。。。*

爱 · 自由*游

2009-02-16T19:10:00.000+08:00

回到原来的生活岗位上，对于早已适应的新生活心中除了有说不尽的不舍，也只有怀念的份儿了。

一直以来，性格外向的我特别向往大都会的生活，因为我喜欢热闹、喧哗、时尚和忙碌。好不容易又逮到机会到外头过自己所热爱的多姿多彩的生活，虽然只有那短短的一个月半，却也已经足够在20年华的岁月里留下一段美好的回忆了。

我喜欢一个人的生活，那种无拘无束，要做啥就做啥，不需要你等我我等你般的蹉跎岁月。在那时期，身为无业游民的我没有时间上的限制，让我能够只身走遍任何一个心属的角落，从旁观者看来，我的背影很落寞，但我自认非常享受那时光。

期间无数个白天与黑夜，我独自在地铁站和家里来回（搭‘‘十一号巴士’’那种），那说长不长说短不短的十五分钟路程内，发生任何事情的机率都是50：50，夜里我就不敢说了。我身边的朋友总是好奇我宁愿走路也不搭车的选择，他们常常关心的劝我说‘‘一个人走路回家很危险，找人陪吧！’’，“那条路很暗很危险，还是搭车好啦！”。他们的话我有听进去，只是我比较喜欢走路的时候可以一面想事情一面把心里话用手机录下来的感觉，这类‘私人空间’真是太棒了啦！^Q^

另外，我也很享受每天在地铁站看着来来往往的人群。城市间，形形色色的人们比比皆是，而我私下作了个总结，那就是：“现代人都太好看了，金字塔顶端不该再用来比喻那些完美的群体，相反的比较不好看的人越来越少了”。怎么说呢？！就当今许多人利用自身的知识、智慧、经验加上不少后天的努力把自己打扮得得体好看，而那些天生丽质的就更不必说了。所以啊，我喜欢出街的其中一个原因是--〉一路上都能够看到赏心悦目的‘景色’，可真养眼啊，呵呵……

Girls Who Love Photography

2008-11-28T14:50:00.000+08:00

Our little photographer

My friend

They don't even know that they have became my models ^^

I am the middle one

My cousin and I

Wao...the look...~~

Yea...pretending

Huh, Guang Liang's style

A cross there

Next:
''Welcome to one of the scene of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Movie''

Hahaha...of course I'm just kidding

^^That's all^^

''Greenland''

2008-11-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

Did you ever hear about a land of 'paddy and seafood blossoms' namely ''Sekinchan''? Yes or no, it's doesn't matter, come on, here are parts of it to share with you...enjoysSsSsSsSsSs

This watering system was started using since colonization of the British.

Can you see mountain there...it is the Titiwangsa Mountain, the longest mountain in Malaysia.
Well, Genting Highlands is also there.

''Welcome to have a look''

谢谢你，老师！Ｔｅｒｉｍａ　Ｋａｓｉｈ，Ｃｉｋｇｕ！Ｔｈａｎｋ　ｙｏｕ，ｔｅａｃｈｅｒｓ！

2008-11-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

再多两天就到我们考STPM了，在那之前，祝福各位考生以外，我也想跟诸位教过我们的老师们‘说’几句（虽然他们根本不会发现我的blog^o^)。

在学校教我们课程的老师有（排名不分先后叻）：教Chemistry的校长，Mr Chia (有时我们称他为‘阿Chai’,有时又叫他‘Sir’,哈哈！）、教Math的班级老师，Pn. Low 、教Biology的Pn. Norizan 、教PA1的Pn. Norsiah 、教PA2的En. Farid 和教MUET的Miss Siti Haliza ；

补习班的： Mr Tang(永远都不能忘记他，因为是他辅助我们，让我们朝更美好的人生目标前进的，他的聪颖足以让他成为教育界的奇才，只是他行事低调而已）、教Math的Mr Liu、教Biology和Chemistry的Mr Wong、　教MUET的Mr Ong、　还有教PA的Cikgu Norzah．

．．．“Sir, Madam, teacher or whatever...Thank you, thank you for your patient, ethusiasm and efforts in teaching us...Your knowledge　make us pro, your humour make us laugh　and　interested,　your words make us mature and your look make us impress...because of you all, we are here..because of you　all,　 we find our ways..and because of you all too, we are getting better. Thank you God for sending you to us and sending us to you as well, you all are such the nicest teacher for us, we learn and get a lot from you either for academic purposes or life, there is nothing more than．．．＂ＴＨＡＮＫ　ＹＯＵ＂！！！”

最后一堂课

2008-11-15T23:01:00.000+08:00

学校的课昨天结束后，今晚八点的PA课也为我们这一年半来的中六补习课作了完结篇。

看着Cikgu Norzah离去的背影，我在想: 她是我目前为止最钦佩的女人（当然，我妈还是最最那位）。我对她的了解不多，但是从她的教学，经验和故事当中，我看到了她那非于一般人的毅力与坚强。她对于教学与助人的热爱让适耕庄这个小镇获益良多，尤其是学子们更是从她的身上学了不少，她让我们知道世界有多大，也让大家敢梦、敢想、敢实现。在适耕庄的教育提升的当儿，她功不可没（感谢上帝让我们遇见她）。对于她，我除了敬佩还是敬佩。认识她的人应该都会酱认为吧！

回家前后，我的心情是沉重的，有那么一刻我奢望时间可以慢下来，好让大家有多点相处的时段，虽然那不可能。

原来，我会是那么的不舍得.....不舍得大家一起上课、开玩笑、认真、用餐、拍照、还有太多太多和大家一起成长的日子都成为了过去。我的人生因为你们而更精彩，谢谢你们！！

''Congratulate to Barack Obama''

2008-11-10T16:55:00.000+08:00

┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓┏★━┓
┗☆┓┃┃☆┓┃┃☆┓┃┃┏┓┃
┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┗┛☆
┃┏☆┛┃┃┃┃┃┃☆┃┃┏┓┃
┃┗━┓┃┗★┃┃┗┛┃┃★┛┃
★━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛

It is a bit late to post this but well...nothing wrong what ^V^
Just for fun.

I'm here, faithfully, to deliver to him, the US's Elect-President-->BARACK OBAMA that :''CONGRATULATION TO YOU AND THANK YOU FOR LET US KNOWING THAT WE ALL CAN !!!''.
Well, actually...he would never know about this, but it's okay :-( /)

The most important thing is.....
@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*

YouTube - President-Elect Barack Obama on Election Night

...bLackOut...

2008-10-31T13:45:00.000+08:00

The night without electricity supply.....

Doing revision...
God bless...please don't burn out my book yeaI'm feeling good......
>>Fan<<
I'm really enjoys the night !!!
Oh no, just for fun.

" 'Torch', I'm commmmminggggggggggg..."

"ehmm...It's really warm here."
What is so-called temperament?! That it is //
My lucky girl-->
Those candle and the ''Luck'', thank you for accompanying me throughout the 'dark period' ya !!

MUET October 2008

2008-10-22T15:49:00.000+08:00

已经是第三次考MUET了，但是还是紧张的不得了，都怪自己准备不全咯。

今天的Speaking test我跟伊涵和德兴一组，幸好有他们帮我平复心情，不然我一定表现的更差的，谢谢你们！！ (男人--真的是比较善于manage情绪的动物也，哈哈哈！)

说到临场表现， waliao，我既然有几秒钟整个人blank掉a。那一刻，我脑海里完全空白，什么都说不出。幸好那是Individual Presentation，不然就真的是害人害己了。

唉，我终于明白老师们常说的过于紧张会导致头脑jam住是什么情况了。天啊，考STPM时最好不要酱叻。

说说我们的题目吧......
昨晚补MUET时，Sir让我们自由提出想要讨论的题材，当中，敏丽说ways to improve English Language。Sir直接说‘‘...Impossible，这个题目多数是出在essay那边的...”，大家当时应该都认同他的想法所以就跟着skip掉那个题目了。

很不辛的，今天的题材是：“Ministry of Education had organised a forum to collect the view of public about the ways to improve English Language in our country’’之类的。而要点是：‘‘Decide which one will be the most effective way to improve the standard of English in our country”，是：

i. Making English as the medium of instruction in school
ii. Employ native speakers as teacher in schools
iii. Making English as a compulsory subject in SPM examination
iv. Having subsidiary on English books

由于相关题材都不被允许带出考场,所以以上的都是从我印象中copy出来的，不是exactly,但是绝对是similar的。^0^

当然，我没有怪Sir的意思，因为昨天在学校时我们几个朋友就已经有类似的discussion，只是我们的题目是‘‘How to improve the English Language proficiency of the children”,而选择是:
i. Through mass media
ii. English as a compulsory subject in SPM level
iii. Parents play an important role
iv. Schools play an important role

再说，大家都知道这个subject的题目很广，很难spot的。成绩，是depends on个人实力，组员默契和临场表现的。

So．．．祝大家都能如愿以偿咯！

ＭＵＥＴ万岁！！　ＳＴＰＭ万岁！！

STPM STPM STPM

2008-10-18T19:08:00.000+08:00

~~STPM STPM STPM~~

><.....There are only 24 days to go.....><

GOD BLESS US !!!

Tuition-ing

2008-09-25T17:41:00.000+08:00

A Picture Says A Thousand Words !

Mooncake Festival '08 （二）

2008-09-17T12:40:00.000+08:00

This is actually a special edition for our fellow friend--->>Old man / Old T / OPS (Obesity,Pregnancy,Sexiest) man......In fact, there have endless 'name' for Ah Tian, but since I have no idea now, so I promise to add in next time yea.!

Tian, I swear I don't tell the world anything about you, really, I don't tell anything......I just, I just wrote them out...............HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

p/s: Tian, even though most of us always have some jokes on you, but faithfully, this is just a fact to show that how important you are to us until we got no reason for not ''noticing'' you all the time. And also, you should know that you will be our best friend forever.

Quite touch right,Tian.....aiya, I knew it ^o^ yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Mooncake Festival '08 （一）

2008-09-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

Sorry for this belated post, but it's okay I think as passion is still there, haha...

What's wrong with the photos? ?

Oh... one with flash-off

<--

and another with flash-on lol

Well, we are actually having Xuan's

birthday celebration at first, and then Mooncake Festival celebration. Setting?! Oh, Xuan's house and street of Site A lol. Nice what..!!

No crowd, no variety of cuisines (but,we got yummy yummy BBQ foods), and no extraordinary theme..but there are two invaluable 'F's --> ''Friendship and Fun''.

We had a roaming around Site A.

You can actually feel the cheerfulness atmosphere among us.

Yea...who is that? Laugh until no temperament at all..^O^

^ In contrast v

You know who is that lol...

Huh, what a great Mooncake Festival I owned this year.

It's really an awesome experience to me.
And, now I realise that ''alone'' is not that good.

-----THE END-----

！！从乡村迈向成功！！

2008-08-17T20:06:00.000+08:00

今天花了七个小时参与了第二届的“卓越育群校友经验分享会” , 感觉很不错。
每一次经过类似讲座会的‘洗礼’后，心中都会燃起种种激动的感觉和感慨，也在心中许下了不少诺言，恰似更有生命力了。其实，这些活动的宗旨都很positive，问题只在于聆听者吸收了多少和有没有实践而已。

以下是分享会的选传单，有没有觉得它的构思和设计都很棒？！！
仔细一看，背景是适耕庄的生招牌/特产之一---稻米。
而跑道就是由每亩稻田之间的红泥路所构成的。

然后，再看看这选传单的两面，正面是起点（上），背面则是终点-Finish（下）。所以，很明显的这几位主讲人都是已从乡村开跑抵达终点的选手们，也意味着他们成功了！
真想知道到底是哪位天才，透过一张单薄且仅有5.85' x 8.25'的纸张就足以让分享会的主提/用意表露无遗。我想，可能他们是借由当下所主办的“北京奥林匹克运动会”而心生灵感的吧！虽然这些分享会都各有各精彩，但主要的内容都和其它的激励课程大同小异，在于提供人们一个激励的平台，告诉大家“IMPOSSIBLE其实可以变成Ｉ＇Ｍ＿ＰＯＳＳＩＢＬＥ”，鼓励大家力争上游或自强不息，所以在这儿我就不提了。

接下来这两张明信片是其中一位主讲人，ZUNG 赠送给在场的每一位的。一张是在Australia的Great Ocean Road拍的，而另一张则是在Italy的Venice拍的。
明信片的后面有ZUNG‘热腾腾’的亲笔签名和他的座右铭－“勇敢追逐你的梦”。

And,this is the ticket which I will treat it as a bookmark. 用意不只是因为我喜欢它的设计，也在于希望自己每看到它，就更能激起对生命的热忱，珍惜当下，勇往直前。
最后，我针对主讲人们的生活背景和经历做了一些观察与结论，那就是…
　一个乡村的人要迈向城市再迈向成功的前提是：
　　　一．家里要有一定的经济基础
　　　二．必须出国留学
（我很想否认，却又不得不承认那是个不争的事实）

当然，这些都不是绝对的，而只是我个人的分析罢了。再说，还有许多元素如教育就是一个很好的例子。

分开收藏

2008-08-16T17:31:00.000+08:00

每一次想起了你就要飞

尽管我知道那不可能我仍然尝试

用飞的理由不外乎太想念你

渴望马上见到你大声说爱你

我用尽全力去追

至世人不理寻找你影踪

激动的灵魂

相信爱不会说谎只是分开收藏

突然很想不要飞想心碎着离开

遥不可及的你像千里外的星光

只能彼此对望让眼神的交接穿透心田

天亮后各自曲折

The Internet related issues

2008-08-16T16:08:00.000+08:00

Even though I have never online for 38 hours weekly, but I have found myself to be Internet addicted. The days before yesterday for about three weeks were the most 'suffering' period since I own the Internet service. For your information, there are some stupid people here who keep stolen our phone cable once per two months averagely. These irresponsible person just know to steal and sell the copper cable for incoming. Oh God, when will they being 'shock' by the charges in the cable and die, should give them some punishment right.

Without the available of the Internet service, I found myself to be 'disconnected' with the outside world. I can't contact with many of my friends especially those cyberspace friends, and I was also unable to surf links for any useful informations. In short words, my life was meaningless on that period. This seem too over but I believed that that feeling is common enough for those addicted to the Internet like me.

Lastly, there are some words for those extremely irresponsible thieves : ''Please la, don't keep stealing the cable and the users' rights again and again, we got paid one you know?! There are so many occupations around us, why do you want to choose to become a thief? Braving enough? Easing enough? Or,challenging enough?''

And, for those TMnet responsible authorities : ''You serve as a service department here should provide a better service for the users. So, please la, please find a more suitable and efficient way to solve the problem once it had happened, three weeks is not long enough but also not a short period for us who have paid for no services. Money is an important issue, but you should also know that there are so many prominent and official tasks can do through your services, once it is not available, then there is an uncountable loss for definitely the users(ourselves), you(because some of the users may choose to terminate the services,then you get no payment) and our country as well (as certain unavailable services can lead to lower productivity)@#$%......''

"当我和你妈一起掉到河里....."

2008-07-26T20:07:00.000+08:00

相信我,你对他的爱永远没有他妈妈对他的多。所以不要问"如果我和你妈掉到河里....."他会恨恨的想,你掉到河河里为什么还要拉上我的妈妈?我们都有这样一个怀抱,我们都应该珍惜。

男女平等

2008-07-26T20:05:00.000+08:00

曾经有一个女人问了这样一个问题：男女什么时候才平等？一个军人这样回答：当死在大炮下的女人和男人一样多的时候。

朵拉的“如何嫁给有钱人？”

2008-07-26T16:27:00.000+08:00

朵拉是我最喜欢的作家之一，她的作品和我的想法有着无限的共鸣。曾几何时，文笔甚差的自己察觉到自己无法用文字表达的情感总是能够在朵拉的作品当中找到归属，她的作品，总是能够把我的思想与心境赤裸裸的表露于人前。我心想，什么时候的我才能够拥有她那般能耐啊！

这里有一篇朵拉的作品，我觉得很有意思所以想跟大家分享，文章内所表达的也就是我与姐姐长年以来的想法--“嫁给有钱人？！还不如想办法让自己变成有钱人！”。有多少次，咱俩的友人各别向咱们说以后一定要嫁个有钱人什么的，招来的无疑是我俩的白眼加上一句“我宁愿花时间想办法努力去让自己变成一个富人，也不会随便去找个有钱人嫁了，因为登天难，求人更难。”

“在网上看到一篇文章，非常有趣，而且真实，如果你是希望嫁给有钱人的年轻女孩，不妨一读。
如何嫁个有钱人？许多女人从年轻开始就在幻想和盼望。
在美国网上金融版论坛，一个名叫波尔诗的女孩毫不客气，没有羞涩地直接了当提问：我怎样才能嫁给有钱人？

波尔诗在网上自我简介：我下面要说的都是心里话，我今年25岁，长得不是普通的漂亮，是一种夺目惊艳的美貌。谈吐文雅又有品味，想要嫁给年薪50万美元的人。你也许觉得我贪心，但在纽约，年薪100万只不过是中产阶级，因此我的要求不能算高。在这版上是否有年薪超过50万的人吗？你们都结婚了吗？我约会过的人最多也只是年薪25万，如果我想要住进纽约的高尚住宅区，这收入距离太远，因此我诚心诚意请教诸位几个问题，让我有机会可以嫁给有钱人。
1. 有钱的单身汉平时多数都在哪里消磨时光？（请列出酒吧，饭店，健身房和地址）
2. 我应该把目标锁定在那个年龄层最为理想？
3. 为什么有些富豪的妻子相貌平平，毫不出色？通常酒吧里那些迷死人的美女却运气不佳？
4. 你们怎么决定谁有资格当妻子，谁只能做女朋友？（我现在的目标是结婚。）

结果出现一个化尔街金融家回答：
亲爱的波尔诗：
我怀着极大的兴趣看完你的文章，相信不少女士与你一样，存有类似的疑问。现在让我以一个投资专家身分作个分析。
我的年薪超过50万，符合你的择偶标准，因此请相信我不是在浪费大家的时间。
从生意角度来看，跟你结婚时非常糟糕的经营决策。你所提出来得是非常简单的“财与貌”的交易。一方提供迷人外表，另一方出钱，确实是公平交易。但这之中有个致命问题，你的美貌会逐渐消逝，我的金钱却不会无故减少，事实上还可能逐年递增，越来越多，而年华逐渐老去的你，完全不可能一年比一年更漂亮。
从我熟悉的经济学来讲，我是“增值资产”，你是“贬值资产”，不但如此，你是加速贬值。因为你现在25 岁，未来5 年也许仍可保持美貌，但消逝的速度却会因为时光的流逝愈来愈快，老实说一句，如果美貌是你仅有的资产，那么10年以后，就令人益发忧虑。
以华尔街术语来说，跟你交往属于“交易仓位”，在价值下跌就要抛售，不宜长期持有。这个建议听起来似乎很残忍，但对一件会加速贬值的物资，最明智的选择是租赁，不是购入。你自然不会把年薪超过50万的人当成傻瓜。说实在的，我们只会跟你交往，但是不会结婚。
在这里，我奉劝你不要苦苦寻找嫁给有钱人的秘方。
顺便说一句，你倒可以想办法把自己变成年薪50万的人，这比碰到有钱傻瓜的胜算要更大。
希望我的回复对你有帮助。如果你对租赁感兴趣，请跟我联系。
罗波坎贝尔。（摩根银行多种产业投资顾问）

21世纪，在无数婆婆妈妈年代的女性不断的努力，自强不息，才得以和男性平起平坐，终于来到男女平等的时代。充满艰辛困难的追求下，方才获得令欣慰的成果，不过，却有部分女性为了要享受豪华奢侈的物质生活，期盼嫁给一个有钱的男人，而且是一自己的美丽外貌作为交易的基础。
不要耻笑波尔诗，“不耻‘上’问”的她仅仅是十分坦白地说出了许多肤浅幼稚女性的心声。有思想的前卫女性，则应该感谢投资顾问罗波坎贝尔德提醒：想办法把自己变成年薪50万的人，比碰到有钱傻瓜的胜算更要大。
因此，说到最后，求人不如求己。”

``果王......果后``

2008-07-20T16:11:00.000+08:00

本地水果飘香的季节已持一段时间了，馋嘴的我直叫爸爸买榴莲给我吃。爸爸这么疼我，所以他当然是二话不说的就到街上选购榴莲去了。

看，有双猪手在开榴莲，一......啊，二......啊......

哇，终于开到了，别看弟弟年纪轻轻，又几够力一下的噢！

享受着榴莲的美味的时候，弟弟提起榴莲是郑和的粪便一事，心情一下子跌倒谷底（诶，我在吃东西叻，干嘛把大便扯进来T,T）。恶心归恶心，我还是几想知道事情的真相一下的。经过一连串的追问，我得知当年郑和上完‘大号’后，他的那堆‘金’长成了一棵榴莲树，其余的爸爸说他已经不记得了。本来我觉得那简直是胡扯，不过听弟弟解释说‘‘不然，榴莲做么会酱臭”时，我才惊觉其实这事儿还蛮逻辑的。Anyway,欢迎相关人士留言，以求认证,谢谢......
有人说榴莲很臭，很难吃，但是我就是爱吃榴莲。
是这籽大粒，还是我的手小啊？！
那籽还蛮像鸡蛋的叻。

榴莲属于燥热性的水果，吃过榴莲后用它的壳盛淡盐水喝，听说能够降火解滞。宁可信其有，不可信其无，所以每次吃过榴莲后都会酱做^v^。

爸买了七粒榴莲，结果被我们吃剩三粒；P

水果之王是榴莲，水果之后是山竹。至于为什么这么叫，网上大部分是说因为榴莲营养价值很高，所以称为水果之王，至于水国王后我想是因为榴莲性热，山竹性凉，他们俩相生相克不正好一对。
榴莲虽好，但一次不可多吃，因其丰富的营养，您肠胃无法完全吸收时，将会上火。如果多吃后，可吃几只山竹，只有水果王后才能降服水果之王。
这山竹是之前买的，所以‘脸色’不大好，嘻嘻呵呵!!!

后记：可能是因为我不挑食，又或者是我一年内才吃那么一次榴莲和山竹，所以我对它们有特别的眷恋，尤其是果后，更是让我爱不释手。

The never ending affair-family

2008-07-05T22:20:00.000+08:00

My life is seem to be meaningless recently.
Nobody is talking with me at home and the only one who I can share my ideas with is just my lovely desktop. People said that family members are the closest one to oneself, I never thought so before, that is because my friends know more about me than my family members do in my life. I know that I should not be so but in reality I am sharing everything with my friends but not the f.members due to certain communication gap between us.

Honestly, I am getting no communication or even eye contact with my mom at all for about one month even now too. We had quarreled before and I had found no way to talk with her after that. Or no, I should say that both of us found no way to chat.

At school, I seem to be a talkative person. Yet, no one even knew that the time I am talking more was the time I used to 'covering' myself. I wish others can know about my problems but somehow I repulse it. ''No one could really think on my point'', I told myself. Right, everyone is busy with themselves so no one is going to bother about you, they may listen to you but they are not going to help you to solve the problems, that is only you(myself) to face its. So how......
Anyway, the only thing I should do now is to concentrate in my study without any interruption with the family affairs.

p/s: Mom, actually I am really suffering that I could not even talk a world with you. I need your love, your care, or even just a sight from you. Stubborn shouldn't be the stumbling-block which destroying our relationship. ''I love you, mom"

God, empowering me with extra power please, I am desperate-ing... !

这是天生的？还是我不够细心？抑或是我急性子的个性所致？我无所适从。

2008-07-04T15:35:00.000+08:00

又到了拿成绩单的日子，身为监护人的妈妈如往常般与班级老师会了会面，顺便听听老师对我们的意见。

“......她平时有用功做功课，可是很粗心大意，尤其是在考试的时候......”，这是老师告诉妈妈的其中一段话。

读了接近十四年书，目前作为高中六年级生的我，在每一年每一次的老师评语里总少不了“粗心大意”这字眼儿。老师们都会告诉我的妈妈关于我这个坏习惯，希望她提醒我把这学业上的绊脚石给除掉。老实说，现在回看起小学的成绩单时，竟然发现里边有无数个“粗心大意”的评语，中文字的，英文字的甚至连马来文字的都有，这证明所有科目老师都知道我有该缺点。

可，这又如何，这么多年来，这绊脚石从来都没远离我，而且还使我在现实生活中面对许多失败个案，尤其是在课业方面。

曾经，我追根究底，希望找出我粗心大意的根源后再铲除它。这是天生的？还是我不够细心？抑或是我急性子的个性所致？我无所适从。

无论如何，为了不让它有机会为一切正常的生活进度带来不良影响，我极度渴望着它消失的一天。

~渴望别人坦诚相见却又排斥真相的人们~

2008-07-03T14:31:00.000+08:00

黄老师说：“人都是不喜欢听实话的！”

人们说，人与人之间的相处需要真诚和坦白。可，现实生活里有多少人是如此对待彼此的？有时，我们不能埋怨他人对我们不老实，因为当他人真正对我们坦白时，双方可能会面临绝交的局面。怎么说呢？！举个例子，当我们发现身边的某个朋友有些不良的习惯时，真正的朋友当然会选用适当的方法告诉他是时候‘改变’了；而相反的，不劝他的朋友就是“不够朋友”了，不是吗。（很乱，不觉得）
明白事理的人会接受友人的劝告，认为友人是为了自己好才开口的。而不接受意见的人却会觉得那供劝告的朋友很过分，他怎么可以这么说等等。

曾经，我在忍无可忍的情况下决定告诉某个朋友说，她身上发出#%￥&*#让身边的人们有点难受，其实我们想告诉她很久了只是怕伤了彼此的感情而都忍了下来。当时，我用了毕生最婉转的方法告诉她说，我担心日后会有人因为那#%￥&*#而远离她进而影响她的社交关系，所以我非说不可（当然，事先我就已经请求她的谅解，希望她了解我的用心）。顿时，她脸色一变，我心想糟了，早知不说。但另一边厢，我告诉自己说，如果我不通知她的话，那我不就是袖手旁观的人了？我们之间十多年的友谊难道都是虚伪的吗？不，我要做她真正的朋友，所以我‘勇敢’的实话照说了。

不幸的是，她并不像之前承诺我般，考虑我的意见和不会因为我说实话而生气我。其实，我早该猜到的，哪里会有人在听了别人对他的评论后而若无其事呢。只是，我始终想不通的是，她怎么没想想万一有天有个本对她有兴趣的优质男人在嗅到那#%￥&*#时而对她敬而远之，那可是她的损失啊。又或者，哪天她和有潜质的生意伙伴因为那#%￥&*#而错过了合作的机会呢，到时亏损的又是谁。当然，我没资格说这事儿一定会发生，可，你也不是一样不能确定它们不会发生不是吗？！

所以啊，为什么她就只是一味儿认为我太直率而讨厌我，却不晓得事实上身边的朋友们都在讨论此事，她仅仅是唯一一个一无所知的当事人。（我想，如果那天我没把真相告诉她，到目前为止也不会有任何人愿意牺牲自己与她友情来为她好的。这不是瞎说而是事实，人是现实的，试问有谁会为了对方的利益而拿友谊作代价呢，答案不言而喻。）

我不否认我是个性格直率的人，但在这件事上我对她的直率是坦白，是诚实，是真诚，是真心也是分享，却不是在批评她。在此，我只希望她能够重新作评论，想想我到底是在损她还是为她好。

总结，老师你是对的，人都是不喜欢听实话的。
坦白时，他怪你太直接 ; 敷衍时，他怪你不够朋友。你说，朋友是不是很难为？！

p/s : 我认为：“坦白不等于直率，但直率绝对等于坦白”

对不起，X !!

2008-06-17T19:23:00.000+08:00

p六月十四号是父亲节，我跟一个久违的朋友因为对方传错简讯而聊了起来。

在结束我们的交谈之际，我心想当天刚好是父亲节就发了 “．．．HAPPY　FATHER'S　ＤＡＹ．．．ｈａｈａ”等字眼给他，他却久久不回我信息。我想了想，怎么了，难道我写错了什么了吗，而当我查看已发信箱里的纪录时，我才忆起对方的父亲早在几年前就过世了。顿时，我心一激，好是尴尬内疚，我怎么会忘了顾虑这事了呢。

二话不说，我拿起手机向对方表示歉意，告诉他我不是故意的也没有其它意思，并希望他原谅我的粗心大意。当然，对方人很好，直说他没什么。可我心里就是很过意不去，真想当面向他道个谦，但又担心频频提起该事会使对方忆起往事而更伤感，所以就决定一字不提了。

还记得，有一片文章里提到说：‘‘如果你的双亲还在你身边，那你就是其中一个最幸福的人了......不管是天灾（意外死亡）或者人祸（离婚），这世界上单亲家庭的数量越来越多了......”。

所以呢，我警惕自己，日后如有机会祝福别人时，一定要‘顾前虑后’，免得把气氛搞砸了还得罪了他人。

>>>现实与梦想之间 <<<

2008-06-13T14:10:00.000+08:00

半年考的成绩已揭晓了，大致上班上所有同学都有进步。我呢，是有进步啦，不过成绩还是那么的‘微不足道’。当大家都在讨论着某某排名第几，某某又是第几名时，我只是默默的坐在座位上做功课。我不是不想参与同学们，只是我不知道该做些什么又或者说些什么，因为我对自己课业上的表现感到非常惭愧。说实在的，我向来只梦想着要成功却又从来都没认真的计划相关过程与目标。而，当我正规划着何从下手时，别人都在努力读书，我才知道原来只要专心读书和考取优异的成绩，前途自然一片光明，任何的担忧或烦恼都是多余的。

升上中学后，我课业上的表现向来都是‘‘比上不足，比下有余’’。每当到了成绩公布的时刻，我总是面无表情。为什么呢？因为，没有尽全力的自己根本没有埋怨，追究甚至是沮丧的资格。

曾经在十字路口徘徊的我，由于成绩与家庭经济的约束而选择留在家乡的中学继续深造中六课程。有位马来老师对我们说过：‘‘......你们错过了以SPM成绩考进大学的机会，STPM是目前唯一一个可能为你们争取到本地大学一席之地的途径。这条路不易走，想挤进这道象牙塔之门更是难，如果不真正努力和坚持到最后，错过的不止是接近两年的时间，还浪费了自己的青春，更甚的是还可能赔上了自己的前途，因为没有好好利用那段时间与精神去探索未来。......’’她还说：‘‘......dalam tahun ini, lupakanlah kawan-kawan yang selalu bermain dengan kamu, lepaskanlah mereka yang tidak
membantu kamu dalam akademik ; manakala berkawanlah dengan mereka yang cemerlang dalam pelajaran dan tariklah mereka yang mahu berjuang bersama-sama dengan kamu ......’’ “......dalam tahun ini juga, lupakanlah cinta......bila kamu mendapat keputusan yang cemerlang,barulah berkawan semula dengan kawan-kawan yang kamu abaikan sebelum itu, mereka tidak akan marah pada kamu sekiranya mereka faham bahawa kamu cuma nak berjuang bersungguh-sungguhnya demi masa depan kamu......’’ 。听到这里时，我有种莫名的感触，心想老师说得没错，在还来得及做补救的这段时间里，我要发奋，我要自律，我要成功！！！

所以啊，尽管路途再崎岖，时间再不允许，现实表现离目标再遥远，我都不会放弃。意志力及坚持是我的策略，再加上我‘铁齿’（福建话），所以我非成功不可！！！！！

人说...

2008-06-11T17:52:00.000+08:00

人说...钱是万能的
人说...苗条是最美的
人说...聪颖是与生俱来的
人说...优异的成绩代表一切
人说...白皙的肌肤是最漂亮的
人说...亲眼看到听到的就是事实
人说...持远大的梦想就是好高骛远
人说...活在世上拥有知己是最幸福的
人说...吃不到葡萄的人总说葡萄是酸的
人说...知足是境界却不知它是绝望的代词
人说...命运掌握在自己的手里却忘了“命水”
：
：
：
人，是为了自己而活着。若为了取悦别人，为了别人的眼光而活，那么...个性与自我何在？！

点亮百万支蜡烛...

2008-05-31T21:44:00.000+08:00

让我们一起为四川灾区遇难的孩子们送上一程吧！点亮百万支蜡烛... http://0594.com/qifu/
听着网上为四川遇难的孩子们祈祷活动所播出的歌，我的鼻子一阵酸的，却因为家人都在而不敢把伤感的心情表现出来。不知道所播歌曲的名，心中却对它有种莫名的眷恋，就一直重播。告诉你，我是一边听着那首歌一边完成这篇博客的。
听着歌儿的同时，姐姐从大城市回到家里，每次她回来，我都会假装走到她周围，看看四周围或者‘向 ’她说几句话（我要强调‘向’而不是‘跟’是因为每次她都没回应我，有也是大声骂我或回驳我），其实我是想去迎接她。当然，这次也不例外，只是这次我向她借书。当时她突然呵喝我，之后就肯定免不了一场骂战。那个时候，庭院里有好几个村民在聊天，想必他们在听到我们姐妹俩的吵架声后，对我感到很失望。为什么我说是我呢？因为，从小到大，只要是我们俩之间发生了事情都一定是我的错。不是跟你开玩笑，可能是命运吧，只要事情牵涉到我，那么罪名肯定往我身上挂（我该悲哀，还是认命好了？）。
举个例子吧，每次我跟她吵架，妈妈都会说:“她久久才回来一次，不要每次骂她，家她也有份你要害她以后不敢回家了吗！” 可是每次都是她大声先的，但当我酱跟妈妈解释时，妈妈又会说：“就让她一次吧，少讲两句又不会死。” 你说，我能怎样？！一次，有几个外人听到我和她在争执，过几天我就听到有谣言说：“那个xxx的二女儿（我咯）很坏，又凶到死，以后不懂谁敢娶她。” 当时我真想骂TMD,为什么都是我的错？！
记得小时候，因为姐姐很凶，打人很痛，心中又有她比我大的念头，所以尽管她怎么打我，我都不敢回手。现在就不同了，我告诉自己不要怕她（虽然我知道那是尊重不是怕），我不要再被虐待了（如果你被她打过你就会知道我用‘虐待’这字眼的原因了），所以只要她对我过份点我都会回驳她。
刚才才跟她吵两句我的眼泪就像水龙头般哗啦啦的流个不停，我恨自己不争气,为什么每次跟她吵架都是我先掉泪,就连此时此刻键盘上也都沾满了我的泪水(当然,键盘还不止于坏掉啦)。
我们俩从来都是水火不容，可怜的是听着我们吵吵闹闹的家人。可能你觉得两个人能够做姐妹是前几辈子修来的福应该珍惜，我只想说......我宁愿我是那受你们祈祷并且点着蜡烛送上路的一群。

歌声还在空气中飘扬，不止境的眼泪已经转换成往肚里吞，看来......今晚又要失眠了！

Refugees

2008-05-21T16:40:00.000+08:00

Once I read through the news about those refugees of cyclone in Mynmar and 7.8 Richter Scale earthquake in Sichuan China, again, I knew that I am among the luckiest in this world.
Then, I hope I will become more appreciated and treasured on everything around me.
God blessing us...
Now, it is the time for all of us to repay the society.
Helping and loving can unite the world.

Blog

2008-05-17T23:22:00.000+08:00

I knew that a well blog should possible be short and simple. Yet, 'complex' is sometimes my style , I am here to express myself but not to create an excellent blog (that's why I said I am a stubborn person) , hope you understand it and not be bored to go through it (if you willing to...), appreciated !!

World's Healthiest Foods

2008-05-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

Spain: Olive Oil Antioxidant-rich olive oil protects against heart disease.
Japan: Soy Protein-packed soy is linked to the prevention of cancer and osteoporosis.
Greece: Yogurt Among yogurt's benefits: enhanced immunity, improved lactose intolerance, and stronger bones.
India: Lentils Lentils give you protein, cholesterol-lowering soluble fiber, and lots of iron.
Korea: Kimchi Loaded with key vitamins, kimchi contains healthy bacteria that aids digestion.

"Sudden Insight"

2008-05-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

"Success won't happen overnight,"
"Know that it will take time but it is worth it in the end."

Tarot Card

2008-04-27T23:39:00.001+08:00

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Just hanging around...

2008-04-27T01:41:00.000+08:00

I am one of the candidates for STPM 2008, there are only leave about 199 days to go...
There have no way for me to relieve the tension, so I just hanging around here to talk about ''nonsense'', haha...

I love sports very much, especially basketball. There are the team clothes I wore for the annual basketball tournament in this 14 April 2008. For me, either the games or the clothes are somewhere somehow awesome !!

Next......that is one of my sports shoes.

是不幸，抑或只是生活及生命的插曲？

2008-04-02T18:55:00.000+08:00

好久没上来写部落格了，对自己感到有点不好意思。其实也不完全因为我懒惰啦，而是近几个月来我身边发生太多不如意的事了。从去年年尾舅舅晚上收档准备回家时被歹徒相中，由于反抗，现金没被抢走却被砍了几刀。还记得我们家是在上午时段接到消息的，当时我和弟弟们正赶着去上课呢。那瞬间，整颗心都沉到无底洞；整天心情都很纳闷，心想原来日夜担心的社会丑态已经离我的家人们那么近了，怎么办好呢。尾舅因为伤势不轻而在Selayang医院待了将近一个星期，然后在家休养了接近一个月。他住院那段期间，我因为自私于繁忙的课业而没去探望他，这点我感到非常抱歉（尽管我有经常向妈妈询问他的近况）。
接下来则轮到大表哥了。已经忘记是什么时候接获通知了，只记得那一刻心很酸。大表哥是唯一和妈妈（也就是他的姑姑）还有我们四兄弟姐妹最亲的表兄弟姐妹，从他幼儿时被妈妈照顾到童年时经常和我们那家子“粘”在一起，我心目中最尊重的同代手足非他莫属。说回正题...农历新年前的一个星期，妈妈接到舅母的电话说"大哥哥"（我们从小就如此称呼他)的中指和无名指被罗里压断了，当时妈妈还强调说他手指的骨“啐了”。顿时，妈妈眼光乏泪，她说她的心好像被揪得喘不过气来并且很是难受。我了解她那一刻的心情，因为大哥哥对她来说就像是她的亲生孩子般血浓于水。
自我懂事一来，我都不曾参加过任何丧礼（幼小时是因为妈妈迷信于避忌之类的事件；而长大后则是因为自身胆小，只要一闻见有人去世就会全身毛骨悚然。犹记得有一年高中，我独自在旁晚七点多从学校骑电单车回家。路途中，我看见一个因车祸导致小腿血肉模糊而坐在路中央等待救命的印裔人，我心慌了，回到家后不停的哭，妈妈还买‘还魄丸’给我吃呢，真是丢脸啊！
话说回头，从不曾参加过丧礼和葬礼的我竟然于二零零八年阴历三月里连续出席两场葬礼，而那两位死者还是与我满亲的三伯和外公。农历正月廿五（阴历三月二日），如果没记错的话应该凌晨一点多左右，三伯在手术室里急救失败而宣布死亡。死前他因脑部受细菌感染而动过抽骨髓手术，真正的死因我不是很清楚，只是心想他该不会是像妈妈所猜测般，因为那骨髓手术而痛死的吧。
至于外公，他过世于农历二月廿四（阴历三十一日），他们俩的‘‘大日子’’相隔不到一个月，就连坟墓也只相差十余个坟墓而已。我们家是在早上去上课那段时间接到外婆家那边打来的电话通知说外公没了。当妈妈告诉我时，我心里很平静，一整天都没什么异样。其实，我觉得我很不孝，三伯死前后我都在他家忙进忙出的；而外公死时，我不但没任何伤心的表现，而且还照常去上课，连我的同学们都为此感到不惑呢。关于外公的死因，不好意思，我不确定。只知道大舅当天早上六点多心血来潮到外公房间去，然后就发现外公早已经断气了。而我之后看到外公的SijilKematian上写他的死因sesak nafas，死亡时间9：00a.m.。很明显咯，那负责人‘乱炮’的。在这之前，外公已经无法忍受一个星期洗三次肾和每天洗腿伤口的痛苦而拒绝继续洗肾了（外公已经洗了没记错的话是七年左右的肾，至于他的脚也因为糖尿病症而砍了一节又一节），那种身心兼具的痛苦可想而知。尽管如此，基于人道原由，外公的家人们只好继续眼睁睁看着他受苦并且亲自载送外公接受一切的疗程。说到这里，我本身也有几次经验载过外公到政府医院洗肾去，他让我有机会见证洗肾的过程-测量体重、血压、身高等，而最重要的是当我见到他的血从他身上通过透明的塑料管流到洗肾机再流回他身上那一刻，我突然感触良深，我望着周围所有的肾病者，同情他们的同时，我才惊觉肾脏甚至是健康的重要性，我告诉自己：‘‘身体发肤受之父母，身体是父母恩赐的，生病时受折磨的不至是我们自己，就连我们的父母也‘逃不过’，所以我要好好照顾它！”
谈谈外公的丧礼吧...外公死后的第二天，我才因为没有补习课而到外婆家去想说去敬个孝（尽管我已无任何孝道可言）或者看有什么帮的上忙的。当天从早课到午间补习课和练球直到晚上八点左右，我才乘坐秀雯（朋友兼同乡；其实当时我们本来已经安排好要去出席另一位朋友-爱婷的生日会的（都说我非常不孝咯），所以顺便咯。）的车到外婆家。到时，我先去客厅向外公上一株香再到饭厅去称呼外婆及相关亲戚们。当大舅母见到我时，她说：‘‘哇，现在才见到你啊!”还是“哇，你现在才来啊！”我已经不大记得了，但是意思甚至是效果都类似啦，因为当时的我尴尬的一笑后低头，心里内疚极了。“对不起，外公、外婆还有所有相关人士们，请原谅我的不孝及无礼。”
没有及时出席外公的丧礼是我的损失也是我的遗憾，因为我错过了许多‘孝敬’外公的仪式。外公生前我们没住在一起，各自都有自己的生活，所以我没为他做过很多事；他死后，我仍然无法贡献于他，太抱歉了。
基于自身文笔不到家，而无法透过文字贴切的表达仍然存在于内心的许多情感，因此，希望日后看到这篇文章时能够再次撩起心中那份永远都不想遗失的记忆......

笔于阴历二零零八年四月三号及六号

2nd Friends Reunion (5D1 2006)

2008-02-10T00:06:00.000+08:00

We having our second friends reunion on the eve of the Chinese New Year 2008.
This time I am not going to do any 'highlighted' things, and I am just take a few photos with several friends.
I am quite regretted about it as......I do not really chat with everyone properly and then I had lost the chance now and ever (maybe), because several of my friends are going to continue their further study oversea this year and next year too. Most of them are going to stay there for at least five years, and I think that it is quite hard for me to meet them again. For this F-R, it is not really enjoyable to me. I had said nothing there, I had just stay for about one and an hour there, nobody mentioned or even noticed about me, maybe because I am not an excellent student among them......I am really sad on it as most of them are just my schoolmate or classmate but not my 'true' friends. So...that is why I want to post such "rare" photos here, I am going to "lock" my extremely rare memory here...that is all.

MUET November 2007

2008-01-31T21:47:00.000+08:00

24 January 2008, the day which we get knew about our MUET's result...
That was my first time involved in the Malaysian University English Test (MUET) and so I was anxiety about my performance all the time, because I am not a good English language user at all.
While, something surprising had happened. I achieved Band 4 for my MUET and the highest grade is Band 6. Wow, it was really a great thing for me, that's why I am still feeling ''unbelievable'' presently(yet, felt accomplishment too la). Why I felt accomplishment?! erm...that's because there are only eight candidates from the lower six achieved the grade and I am one of them, so don't you think that I should proud of it ???!!
No, you have wrong, I never felt proud about it at all as my total marks for that paper is quite low. It was all about the luck I thought.
Anyway,still want to 'boost' myself here: ''Congratulation!'' ''And, keep going on for the highest honour next time!!''

"迈向2008年脚踏车运动与警民交流会"

2007-12-30T21:00:00.001+08:00

今天，是本人于2007年终假日里最早起的一天。
凌晨六点起身，泡温水，想说以此促进体内的血液循环来达到热身的效果，为待会七点钟的公开赛做准备。
比赛开始时因为前一天的临时训练而导致的下半身酸痛（从来不晓得原来骑接近两小时的脚踏车，臀部一触到任何固体如脚踏车坐垫时会如此难受！），所以全程都是靠毅力及坚持来完成。俗语说“好的开始是成功的一半”，我因为路程一开始时就和久违的戚友打交道，导致中气全消，真是罪该万死！而，整个行程当中我总共'小呕'了三次（因为早餐吃泡面lo！）。最后，当然连安慰奖也没份。
不过值得幸庆的是，我全程都没有停歇或休息，如果是以前的我肯定到半路就休克了，哈哈！而且，我今天也只不过差几名就入围了，所以还是值得鼓励的（暗爽！）。
有欢乐当然也有悲伤，欢乐说过了当然就剩悲伤的了。今天凌晨，我同乡的朋友来找我，我因为要弟弟帮我把脚车踏下街而弟弟和我的目的地又不相同，所以就把水瓶，面巾和帽子(比赛时要戴的）交给那位朋友说过后在某某地方见面。怎知一见到面我就发现那顶我最爱的帽子已不翼而飞。当时还以为是那瑁子在路途中不小心'飞'到路边了，应该还找得回的。所以在比赛当儿，我就一直四处张望（因为是同个路线），希望在它被'糟蹋'前找到它，但却没找到。比赛结束后而我们打算回家时，大约11：30a.m.,两位和我同乡的朋友因为怕累怕晒，就要求一位男性朋友驾车载她们回家，而我就坚持骑我的脚踏车回去，原因无它，就纯粹想要找回我那不翼而飞的帽子。
回家的路程大概有7km，正当中午的烈日把我晒得好累，好晕，好辛苦。当时看着白蒙蒙的前路，又找不到任何一点'蜘丝蚂迹'，我真的要开始灰心了。然而，我却告诉自己说：“自己的东西要靠自己找回来，没有人会同情你而为你作出所谓的付出，更何况谁叫我要把自己的东西交托给别人呢，这就是事实中的现实!”就这样我坚持了。
现实总是残酷的，尽管我在烈日下暴晒寻找了接近一小时，或者后来和其中一个同乡朋友一起骑着单车重回烈日下开始'寻觅'工作，依然'资讯全无'。黯然与痛心的感觉在我心间徘徊，难受极了。
可能你们想问我说为何我对那价钱不是很贵的帽子如此执着，其实我也答不出个所以然。该从哪说起呢？！由于我的脸形比较难配到真正适合的帽子，所以买帽子时总是'踩钉'。但，辛运的是，我终于在去年的工作机会下'遇上了'一顶我非常眷恋且比较适合我的帽子。就是如今遗失这顶。有朋友叫我再去买顶新的，可是也未必能找回感觉一模一样的帽子啊。算了，没有人能够了解我真正的感受的，我就是那么执着，如何？！
不想写了，因为就算写得再多，那可怜的帽子也不会立刻出现在我面前。唉！！！所以总结：今天一整天都非常纳闷的我，不是因为我没得奖（包括比赛和幸运抽奖），而是···遗失了一顶在别人眼中如此渺小却占据我心中重要位置的帽子。是不是很可笑？！但是，，，人生不就是如此吗？？！！